Saturday, June 22, 2013

To Work, Passionately

I got a whole month of free days since it's the end of school year holiday, and so I pretty much got nothing to do. I hate that feeling when I have spent too many days doing nothing. Therefore, when a friend of mine told me that a global management consulting firm need a few freelancer to help them out with their project, I'm interested to try. I knew I won't be doing things that makes me cognitively challenged, but I would like to do it anyway. I'm interested to learn how does it feel to be an employee (though a teacher is, in fact, also an employee).  How does it feel to work 9 hours in front of PC. How does it feel to go to Sudirman everyday, being in a train overloaded with commuters. How does it feel to work with hundreds of people in a big building. How does it feel to.... work, even only for a day or two (or maybe more, let's see).

My first day is actually a mess. I don't even have the guts to go inside the train, and wait for the next one instead (which is actually almost as chaotic as the first one). I hate the work, I don't feel good about myself while doing it, and I feel so tired when I got home. Nevertheless, I came back to spend another day, because I despised myself for giving up too easily. On the second day, I already know what to expect, so I told myself to be stronger. There are a lot of people who don't enjoy what they do for a living, but they can deal with it. So why can't you? 

When you lower your expectation and had been through something really bad, something good will happen, I assure you that. At the second day, I start observing around, and looking for the silver lining of  'working at a company'.

And I finally get it. I get why thousands of people are willing to get up early, go through pretty much the same morning hassle everyday, work all day, and got home late. It could be the money, or the pride. It could be the lifestyle. It could be the social life, which I found really appealing. It could be the rush. It could be the satisfying feeling when you got to do something more than targeted, get a bonus, be promoted, or else. Those are gratifying and self-fulfilling.

Nothing is ever a waste, including doing something I know I won't like doing. At least I learned to do and to finish what I'm responsible for, even when I don't feel like doing it. I learned how to be tough and independent, and how to cope with a nerve-racking morning and evening. I learned how to be flexible. And most of all, I learned how to be thankful for finding the right place where I never really feel like I'm working. 

After today (or, after working in a company for two days - and make a conclusion from it), I think working in a company, even by doing something administrative (which I disrelish doing) is actually bearable. I can mention a few things that I enjoyed. In other way, if I'm obligated to do it, I can still survive and won't be so distressed - as it's not as bad as what I thought previously. However, I won't be fallen in love with it. It's not something that I will tell people around passionately. It's not something that can make me woken up every morning with such excitement. It's not something that I will exceedingly miss doing during my holiday. It is not something that I am passionate about.

But here's the thing: Some people don't have (or don't use) the chance to go where their passion is. 
So when you do, and you're sure about it, don't ignore it. Just go through the right path (the one where your heart told you to take), and find a way to make it able to fulfill your need (financial need, esteem need, or anything else - you name it).

Keep doing something you're passionate about, and you will never work for the rest of your life.

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Dream, Postponed

 It's official: I won't be a psychologist for (at least) another three years. I will continue being a special education teacher for another year or two, and continue getting my master degree after. To be honest, I still feel weird about not doing what I exactly planned to do, since I am a little rigid on that, but I am sure that this is for the best - that this is what I need the most. As I told everyone, working here gives me abundant things to learn. It also gives me joy (I'm pretty sure everyone that I have already told about my work to can 'read' it from the way I tell the story). I feel really comfortable working here. The teachers are all nice to me and not think of me as a 'new-kid' or treat me like an outsider, the kids are all amazing in their own way and got me in love with them at the first sight (or in this case, at the first observation), the school is not so far from my house and has great facilities, and so forth. I've adjusted myself, and for now, I can say that this is the workplace to work right after college that I've been dreaming of. I couldn't ask for more.

The teachers

The girls

Things will get more challenging starting from July, though, since I will be a teacher (not a teacher assistant anymore) and have my own class. I dare myself to be a great teacher even when I'm still new at this, so I know I must read some books on how to face a challenging child in the classroom, and how to transfer knowledge to those who have difficulties. From that moment, I have to be responsible for everything. I also have to be able to face parents with different values and personalities, and learn how to discuss their children with them. Next year will be both exciting and challenging for me. Hopefully, anything I'm going to go through can make me a better psychologist and even a better person in the future :)


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