Saturday, December 20, 2014

Another December

As usual, this time of the year is the time for me to contemplate things that have happened in the last 12 months. Due to my awful memory, I usually started the annual routine by reading some blog posts that I have written - because that's what they are for - including what I wrote last December.

Last Year, I was even too scared to put "study abroad" as my resolution because it seemed impossible. Yet here I am, in the midst of freezing winter and breezy wind. Here I am, 9,157 miles away from home, getting a fresh start with everything, learning how to make it on my own. 







Do I miss home? Terribly. Do I struggle every day just to write a good enough 2000-word-essay? Undoubtedly. Do I find my self-efficacy deteriorates from time to time? Frequently. Do I regret coming here? Not in the slightest!

This year will  always be the one of the most significant years of my life. This year marks the first time for me to be thousands of miles away from my family. The first time for me to live as a minority. The first time for me to use English in academic setting, and surrounded by dozens of native speakers. The first time for me to be the only person that doesn't drink alcohol during dinner. The first time for me to enter a pub, because apparently it's the coziest place to sit and talk in the UK (most of the coffee shops are too small and closed early). The first time for me to travel into so many new places without my family. The first time for me to understand what it means to be free and responsible.



And this year, I learned that if I'm willing to step away from my comfort zone and try new things (even though I thought it's out of my league), something great will come. 

Next year will not be easier for me as I will do my final project. I'm worried and excited as usual, and I hope it will turn out fine. I'm not going to make resolutions since none of my last year's have achieved anyway (apart from pursuing another degree). All I want for next year is new experiences, and a strength for me to overcome any obstacles that I might face. I want to enjoy my days and ruminate less, I want to be happy, even happier than I currently am.

Thank you for this amazing year, dear Allah. You know I won't make it without Your tremendous amount of blessings. May I always be reminded to be grateful under any circumstances. I can't wait for more surprises from You, especially regarding the one baffling question that I have always wondered about, that irritates me a lot.

Thank you for making the impossible possible.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Travel Far Enough

"Travel far enough, you meet yourself." I don't remember where did I see that quote before, nor who wrote it. Back then, when I read it for the first time, I couldn't even relate to it. 

I've travelled far now, yet somehow I feel more lost than before. I've discovered a whole new world, met and interacted with people from a different world, and I fell in love with all the novelty. I was so sure at the beginning. I made a decision. 

My perspective became wider, and so does my dream. There are so many things that I do want to achieve.

I guess being alone and away from my significant others lead me to ruminate, frequently. I hate to be an over-thinker who worries to much, but I just can't help myself from doing it.

What is it that I really want? Am I after the wrong thing? Should I try something fun even though it will be a waste of time and money? Or should I be the same-old mature, boring girl? What should I do after this? Will any of my plan work out? Am I after the wrong thing? Do I really belong here? 

And then I open my Path, Facebook, or Instagram. And compare my worst self with other people's best. Covet things that have been concealed and edited.

"Allah has planned everything for you. He knows what's best for you. Why worry?"

Because what if I'm not good enough to deserve something good? What if? 

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

A Speck of Dust

It's weird to have statistics as a subject that I look forward to every week, as the subject that I suck at the least, and as a reason to procrastinate my essay and critical analysis. It's even weirder to suddenly have the urge to clean up my room, and even rearrange the furnitures, just to do anything but doing the critical analysis. I mean, it's Ayas that I'm talking about, a girl (young woman? sounds strange) who fights a lot with her mom over her immensely messy room and uses The Big Five model as an argument to justify laziness.

I might always have been a procrastinator during my undergrad, but I always knew what to write. I procrastinated because I know that I can do it in just an hour or two. That I can still do it with haste. 

Whereas now I completely have no idea what to write, even though it's only 5 days before the deadline. And even if I know what to write, I don't know how to write it to make my critics and ideas sound brilliant. Because no matter what I write or think, most of my classmates will do better than me.

Maybe this is what I get for being too condescending in the past: A realization that I am actually just a  speck of dust in the universe. A guppy fish in a pond full of koi.

And then again, I write this just to procrastinate.

Wish me luck?


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Regardless

It has been six weeks, and I love it here. Even though I barely understand the lectures. Even though sometimes people talk too fast during the lecture and I get lost. Even though I feel stupid most of the times. Even though everyone seems so smart and critical. I love it here regardless, because I know I'm learning a lot, even from my classmates. I love it here because all of my lectures seem so dedicated and passionate about what they do. And all of my lecturers are also researchers, with a specialty on at least a field, which makes them all critical, resourceful, and of course, amazing. And the gap between lecturer and student here is somewhat narrow, as we can call them by their first name and they would be very pleased to hear our critics and ideas. I also love it here because the department uses more scientific (neuropsychology) approach, with all the brain-imaging research and such. It's no longer "social science". It is, science; life science. 

I love it here, despite of the fact that I have to put extra effort to pray and eat halal food. There is no mosque on the city center, and no halal restaurant that offer any food that is not pizza, Indian cuisine, or mediterranean one. Despite of the fact that I miss having dinner-conversations with my family. Despite of the fact that I miss doing all the religious routines with them. I miss doing congregation prayers with my brother, or doing suhoor and breaking fast together (now they just feel like a regular meal). I love it here regardless, because everyone is so nice and friendly. Because I have a few close friends whom I can be myself around. Because I have more chance to enlarge my circle and step out of my comfort zone.

I love it here, although I have to walk more than 18,000 steps a day sometimes. Although it's cold most of the times. Although I have to walk faster than I used to be, because that's just how people walk here. Although everything is so expensive here, and I have to balance my urge to shop and travel and my intention to save up. I love it here regardless, because of the clean, fresh air and the tranquility of this beautiful city that I currently live in. Because I have more chance to see other parts of the world and its locals. Because I have more chance to enjoy my present days, even though I still constantly worry about my future (because that's just who I am).

To live and study here is not easy. It will probably get easier, but it will never be easy. Because that's just how life works. But I love it here anyway.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

To Subdue, To Bear, To Overcome

I have to complete a pretest before my statistics class even started. The test consists of 50 statistical questions, including some which I haven't learned at my previous university. It's hard. So hard that I have to skim through 4 books that I used during my undergraduate degree. So hard that I have to spend more than 8 hours studying, trying to refresh my memory that apparently remembers nothing about statistics. So hard that I'm starting to question my capability to pursue another degree. So hard that I almost cry, because I realize that this is only the beginning.

That it will be this arduous, or even worse, for the next one year. That it is not supposed to be easy. That I'm not getting scholarship fund every month to stay at home and do whatever it is that I want to do. No. LPDP paid more than 40 thousand pounds for me to work my ass off, to subdue whatever it is that challenges me, to finish this course, and to finally do something for children in my country.

Ready or not, this is a challenge that I know I will face before I even decided to do this. The fact that most of my classmates will be from UK and EU makes it harder, but it's not a reason for me to keep complaining.

My life here will be tough, obviously, but Allah will not burden me with something beyond my capacity. My life wasn't always easy either, but I made it. I have made it this far. And so I can make it, and I will make it.


(taken from tumblr)



Nevertheless, it's exciting to be here and I really, really, really love the City, the university, and the study environment. I'm delighted about the courses as well. I am utterly grateful, and therefore I know that I have to exert myself to be more determined and to be able to keep up with my classes.

Because it will be worth it in the end.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Week After

It's been a week since my arrival in York. Not exactly a week, but I'm afraid I won't have time to write anymore. My new room is still a mess, with my clothes and luggage lying on the floor. Packing and unpacking are not my favorite thing, I guess.

My body's adapting really well, surprisingly. I don't experience jet lag at all, and it's starting to get used to the cold weather.

York is an old, mesmerizing city. It's quiet and it feels like home. It's serene and soothing. There's no traffic jam, no people walking fast to catch the train and bus, and no sound of horns. Most of the shops are even closed at 5! For a person who is tired of living in a populous, polluted city like Jakarta, falling in love with York is easy.


The City Center

The York Minster
The Clifford's Tower

Through connection from my friend and landlord (and fate, too, I guess), I met two nice Indonesian friends who got along really well with me. We go together practically everyday. These two people make York feels homier, and they help me not to (literally) get lost. 

With those who made it easier, Elsye and Fikri

Indonesian UoY Freshers 2014
My courses haven't started yet, so I go to city almost everyday to shop and to explore the city. As It's getting very cold here, I decided to buy some warming-equipment before it's too late. A proper knitwear, boots, duvet, and gloves. I haven't bought any coat for winter, but I guess I can do it later after I receive my monthly allowance.

Shopping Day

So far, the adjusting period is not as hard as I think. I know I need to be more independent, though. I tried to go home by myself from the city center once. But then I met a nice, young couple from Malaysia who lives just a couple of house away from mine, so it doesn't really count. But soon enough, I'll get used it, I promise.

I hope I'll be as happy for the rest of the year, regardless of the challenges that I might face (and subdue, hopefully). And I hope I will meet a lot of new friends from all over the world and have a close relationship with them as well. I'm immensely excited.



 Cheers!


Saturday, September 13, 2014

A Week Before

I'll be leaving in less than a week. My room is a complete mess now, with my clothes and luggage lying on the floor. My visa, passport, and other documents are ready. It's getting real. 

I wish I could pretend that it's not a big deal, but it is. I enjoy being in solitude, but I have never been away from home and taken care of everything by myself. It's terrifying, yet exciting because I always wonder If I'm going to make it, living by myself. I'm even worrying about the long flight that I'm going to take in solitude. I don't know if I could spend more than 20 hours alone. 

Most of my scholarship-friends are already abroad. Some even has started their courses. And a lot of them complained about their current situation: Missing home, sleepless nights due to some tasks, and lousy food. Nevertheless, most of them also showed their happiness to finally do things that they have been dreaming of for years: visiting world-class museums and football stadiums, getting freedom that they won't get in their home country, and learning things at the best universities. 

Soon enough, those are going to be my day too. Both the good and the bad. I'm sure I'm going to feel the same excitement, as well as apprehension and sadness. I'm going to live in a city where no one knows me. I'm getting a fresh start, even tough it also means that I will have to work hard to start over. 

Whatever that is, I'm sure that there is no problem that He's going to give me that I can't overcome. And no matter how bad my worst experience is there, it's going to be something that matters a lot in my life, perhaps something that's going to change my life or worldview. 

I've been waiting for this for a year now, and now it's time to leave. I know it's not going to be easy, but everything that I have fought in the past was also not - yet I did it anyway. I'm just hoping that I won't be the stupidest in my class, given that I come from a country that doesn't have a great reputation for its education system and quality. 

To new start, new journey, new lessons, new friends. To new experiences and new challenges. Wish me luck? 

Sunday, September 7, 2014

About One Terrifying Week

I never really felt this scared. Dad's in hospital for Dengue Fever, and his thrombocytes concentration dropped to 8.000 (the normal count is over 150.000 - can you imagine how low was that?). He also has a high blood sugar level, so the doctor decided not to give him one of the most effective medicine to boost the thrombocytes (because it could also boost his blood level). Who would have thought that a single mosquito could ruin my family's whole week?

I underestimated "Dengue Fever" because a lot of people have had it and they're just fine. I have had it, and so has my brother. So I laugh at my super-sensitive sister who cried when she heard that my dad needed to spend a night at the hospital, because it is just Dengue Fever. But it turns out that the disease can get complicated for older people, even though my dad is not that old (at least not as old as most of my friends', anyway).

So I cried when my mom called me at 11 pm to tell that he needed thrombocytes transfusion. PMI (Indonesian Red Cross Society) ran out of type-A thrombocytes stock, so we needed to provide our own donors. My brother and I called a few relatives and friends to find suitable donors, then rushed to the hospital and PMI to take care of the blood donation. There were 10 donors that night and 4 the next night, but unfortunately, only 8 people are eligible. The blood donation and transfusion process was quite an emotional experience for someone who always fills her head with an abundance of "what-if" questions - for someone who always, always expects for the worst to happen. I was scared, but I was glad that I didn't have to do that alone.

Dad had 10 bags of platelets transfused, and today his platelet counts are getting better. He's still can't do anything but to stay in bed as he's still feel utterly dizzy and nauseous, but at least the critical period is over. At least he no longer needs transfusion. He still needs oxygen to breath and the low platelet counts did harm his liver, but at least he's feeling better now. At least I do not have to worry that much anymore.

As every other thing that has happened in my life, I know that there must be something to learn. And through this experience, I learned about my kin and friends. I realized that some of them are peculiarly kind and selfless, and even willing to help in the middle of the night, on short notice. There are also some of them who can't be there physically but checks on me and my family frequently - those who gives support occasionally. But there are some relatives who can't even empathize and are not willing to give any help. Who can only blame and talk without giving any comfort. This experience has clearly shown us who's to rely on, and who's to keep our distance with.

On the other hand, I also learned that I might also be a lousy friend sometimes. That I don't really show deep concern to those who might need it. Now that I know how it feels, I should be more caring and supportive. Because during your worst day, even a simple "how are you" would make you feel okay and not alone.





And lastly, even though sometimes I argue with my parents and say cruel things about them to myself, I realized that I'm not ready to live without them. I am aware that it's somehow inevitable, but I think it's not something that I could overcome right now. There's a saying about us being busy growing up that we forget our parents are also growing old, and I learned that it's true. But regardless, I learned the hard way - arduous, even - that I still need their presence in my life. So please Allah, please, keep my family in good health, and shower them with Your blessings and protection.

Everything will be okay. It will be.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

A Reminder

Dear Ayas, or the future version of Ayas, 
There are times when you hate your life. When you perpetually compare your worst day to other people's best, or at least what appeared to be their best day based on what they post on the internet. There are moments when you abruptly forget all of the blessings that Allah has showered you with abundantly. Times when you sobbed without any obvious reason. Times when you feel like things are not going as you planned, and that you have chosen the wrong path, even though that path sure looks appealing. There are also times when you feel profoundly lost and suddenly don't know what to do. When you covet what your friends have that you don't, and feel that somehow it is unfair. 

When those days come again, please, please remind yourself to be thankful for everything that's going on in your life. There is a reason behind everything, and there are good things waiting for you ahead - things that are already planned by Allah. And remember that you'll be just fine, no matter what. 

And please remember that about two years ago, Aa Gym, a prominent Islamic preacher, told you this in one of his speeches: 

"If you want to be truly happy, you have to learn to feel happy for other people's blessings."

And lastly, please do remember that some of your friends also covet what you have. That it's actually humane to want things that we can't have at the moment, or to long for things that other people  have achieved. The neighbor's grass will always look greener, dear, but that shouldn't stop you from watering your lawn. 

Keep doing what you do, and make yourself and other people proud of you. No matter what the evil part of your brain think, you're doing great. And I'm proud of you. 

Monday, August 18, 2014

Melanjutkan Studi di Luar Negeri

Karena beberapa teman saya banyak bertanya tentang cara mendapatkan beasiswa untuk kuliah di luar negeri (khususnya di Inggris), saya akan mencoba menuliskannya dengan detil. Hence, it's going to be a long post. Selamat membaca dan semoga membantu!


Berikut ini adalah hal-hal yang saya lakukan dalam satu tahun terakhir: 

Memilih Program Studi

Sebelum memutuskan untuk melanjutkan studi di program magister, langkah pertama yang wajib dilakukan adalah mengetahui bidang apa yang akan dipelajari. Sesuaikan dengan minat dan passion, pengalaman belajar saat S1, dan pengalaman kerja. Pikirkan dengan matang, apakah jurusan tersebut dapat menunjang cita-cita kita. Selain untuk memantapkan hati, perencanaan studi ini juga akan sangat membantu untuk mendaftarkan diri ke universitas tujuan dan program beasiswa yang diincar. Jurusan yang dipilih tidak usah terlalu spesifik dulu, agar ada beberapa alternatif universitas yang bisa dipilih.

Oh iya, di beberapa negara, program magister terbagi dalam dua program: taught / lecture dan research. Sejak awal saya memilih taught programme karena lebih sesuai dengan tujuan belajar saya.


Memilih Universitas dan Negara Tujuan

Untuk mempersempit lingkup, setelah memutuskan bidang yang dipilih (waktu itu saya memilih psikopatologi anak), saya memutuskan untuk memilih Inggris sebagai tempat melanjutkan studi karena program magister di Inggris kebanyakan hanya satu tahun. Inggris juga merupakan salah satu tujuan studi terbesar, sehingga banyak alternatif universitas yang bisa dipilih dan akan ada banyak mahasiswa internasional di sana. Selain itu, saya memilih Inggris karena tidak mau repot-repot belajar bahasa lain. Sebagai alternatif, beberapa negara yang banyak dipilih oleh mahasiswa Indonesia di antaranya: Amerika, Australia, dan Belanda. 

Setelah menentukan negara, saya lalu membuka tiga situs ranking universitas, yaitu Times Higher Education, QS World University Ranking, dan The Complete University Guide. Untuk mempermudah pencarian, saya memfokuskan diri pada peringkat universitas berdasarkan peringkat program psikologi di Inggris. Saya kemudian membuka website universitas-universitas tersebut (dari peringkat pertama sampai berikutnya), dan mencari tahu program studi yang ditawarkan, dan mempelajari modulnya untuk mengetahui relevansi dari program tersebut dengan minat saya. Akhirnya, saya menemukan program studi yang paling sesuai di University of York.

Meskipun namanya jarang sekali terdengar di Indonesia, saya memutukan untuk memilih University of York karena pernah menjadi universitas terbaik di Inggris yang berusia di bawah 50 tahun (Top 100 Under 50), masih berada di peringkat 100 besar dunia, dan karena kota York sepertinya cukup cantik dan nyaman untuk menjadi tempat tinggal dan belajar.

Setelah tertarik dengan modul yang ditawarkan, langkah berikutnya adalah melihat cara pendaftaran dan requirements-nya. Berikut di bawah ini adalah dokumen yang diperlukan untuk mendaftar di University Of York:
  • Bukti skor IELTS (nilai IELTS minimal 7, dengan nilai setiap subtes minimal 6.5)
  • Transkrip dan ijazah berbahasa Inggris (dengan minimum degree 2:1, atau jika dikonversi, IPK minimal 3.33)
  • Personal motivation letter (esay berisi alasan memilih program tersebut dan rencana karir ke depan. Show how passionate and dedicated you are!)
  • Dua surat rekomendasi (biasanya minimal satu surat harus dari akademisi, satunya lagi bisa dari atasan di tempat kerja atau juga dari akademisi)
  • Contoh tulisan ilmiah berbahasa Inggris (persyaratan ini hanya saya temui di University of York)
Setelah mengetahui persyaratan yang dibutuhkan, langkah berikutnya adalah mempersiapkan diri untuk memenuhi requirements di atas.

Oh iya, perhatikan juga deadline pengajuan aplikasinya. Kebanyakan universitas di Inggris hanya membuka kelas pada bulan September, sehingga kita bisa mendaftar dari bulan Oktober hingga Juli (semakin cepat semakin baik).

Jika program atau universitas yang dituju terlihat kompetitif (bahkan biasanya tercantum di website-nya), it would be best to have a back-up plan. Daftar saja ke satu atau dua universitas lain. Toh tidak dipungut biaya. 

Mempersiapkan diri untuk tes IELTS

Saya sempat galau untuk ikut kelas persiapan IELTS atau tidak, karena sejujurnya saya nggak bisa mengukur kemampuan academic english saya. It's true that I have been writing and speaking in English on a daily basis, but the IELTS test is definitely more than that. Untuk cari aman, akhirnya saya mendaftarkan diri untuk ikut kelas di IALF Kuningan (yang katanya tempat terbaik untuk kelas IELTS prep) setiap hari selama 5 minggu.

Is it helpful? Sure is, apalagi karena saya belajar langaung dari native speaker. But to be frank, it was not that helpful karena peserta kelasnya cukup beragam sehingga materi yang diberikan jadi kurang mendalam. But regardless, menurut saya mengambil kelas IELTS prep tetap recommended untuk setidaknya memberikan social support, yaitu teman-teman yang juga akan kuliah di luar negeri. Selain itu, biaya les dan tes yang cukup besar menurut saya adalah investasi di awal yang membuat saya semangat untuk berburu universitas dan beasiswa, karena saya nggak mau jutaan uang yang sudah saya keluarkan jadi terbuang sia-sia. Moreover, if you have free time, IALF juga menyediakan perpustakaan dengan fasilitas yang sangat menunjang untuk belajar secara mandiri, yang bisa diakses setiap hari. 

Oh iya, skor IELTS yang dibutuhkan tergantung negara dan universitas tujuan. Untuk jurusan-jurusan sosial di Inggris, biasanya requirement-nya cenderung lebih tinggi, yaitu berkisar antara 6,5 atau 7 (dari skor maksimal 9). Jika dirasa terlalu sulit, silahkan memilih negara atau universitas lain sebagai alternatif. Jika tidak ingin les, persiapan IELTS bisa dilakukan lewat buku dan internet (misalnya dari situs IELTS-Simon atau IELTS Buddy). Saya sih tetap menyarankan ada guru atau tutor yang bisa dipercaya untuk teman latihan speaking dan writing, apalagi merasa belum pede untuk berbicara dan menulis di dalam konteks akademis dengan Bahasa Inggris. 

Jika sudah siap, tes IELTS bisa dilakukan di IALF, IDP, atau British Council. Tes tersebut dilakukan seharian dengan biaya USD 195. Hasil tes dapat diambil setelah 13 hari kerja. Untuk mempercepat proses pendaftaran universitas, sebaiknya tes IELTS sudah diikuti paling lama bulan Oktober (satu tahun sebelum rencana keberangkatan). 

Mendaftar ke Universitas

Sejauh yang saya ketahui, University of York tidak memiliki agen di Indonesia, sehingga proses pendaftaran saya lakukan sendiri. Untungnya, mendaftar universitas tidak terlalu sulit karena semuanya dilakukan secara online. Saya juga tidak mengeluarkan uang sepeser pun. Jika ada pertanyaan mengenai program studi atau proses admission, saya langsung mengajukannya melalui e-mail ke pihak fakultas dan universitas, dan biasanya mendapatkan balasan dalam waktu 1-10 hari. Namun, jika universitas yang kamu tuju memiliki agen di Indonesia (IDP, IBEC, Sun Education, dan lainnya), mendaftarkan lewat agen bisa dijadikan alternatif. Biayanya tidak besar (atau bahkan gratis), dan proses pendaftaran jadi lebih praktis. 

Setelah mengunggah dokumen yang disyaratan, biasanya pengumuman akan diterima dalam waktu 1-4 minggu. Jika diterima, kita akan mendapatkan Letter of Acceptance, baik yang conditional (berarti masih ada syarat yang harus dipenuhi) atau unconditional. Untuk mempercepat proses berikutnya, sebaiknya seluruh dokumen sudah diunggah paling lambat bulan Januari (di tahun yang sama dengan rencana keberangkatan). 

Mendaftar Beasiswa

Ini adalah tahapan yang paling krusial buat saya, karena saya nggak akan kuliah di luar negeri tanpa sponsor (karena terlalu mahal dan "nggak balik modal"). Setelah browsing dan tanya sana-sini, saya mendapatkan informasi tentang LPDP, yaitu lembaga pengelola dana pendidikan dari pemerintah yang mengeluarkan beasiswa dari hasil investasi dana abadi.

Seperti yang terdapat di situs situs LPDP, beasiswa ini mencakup semua biaya yang dikeluarkan saat studi berlangsung. Persyaratan yang dibutuhkan pun tidak sulit: IPK minimal 3, IELTS minimal 6.5, akan melanjutkan studi ke 200 universitas terbaik di dunia, serta bersedia untuk berkontribusi bagi Indonesia (meskipun tidak ada kontrak kerja). Hebatnya lagi, tidak ada kuota penerima beasiswa, jadi kita akan diterima jika memang memenuhi krieria minimum yang ditetapkan oleh LPDP.

Intinya, LPDP adalah lembaga beasiswa impian: Beasiswa dan uang saku yang diberikan cukup besar, dikelola oleh pemerintah RI dengan tujuan mulia, membuka peluang bagi banyak orang, tidak ada batasan jurusan, menyediakan jaringan awardee/alumni berisi ratusan (akan segera menjadi ribuan) pemuda Indonesia yang punya mimpi besar untuk negaranya, dan proses seleksinya pun tidak rumit. LPDP menurut saya adalah a breakthrough: solusi cerdas untuk pelan-pelan memajukan Indonesia (as education is always the best investment, right?)

Berikut adalah dokumen yang harus diunggah untuk tahap administrasi:
  • Ijazah dan transkrip
  • Hasil tes IELTS
  • Letter of Acceptance (Tidak wajib, namun sebaiknya sudah ada, untuk mempermudah saat menulis esay dan saat wawancara)
  • Satu surat rekomendasi dari dosen / atasan kerja
  • Rencana studi (modul kuliah dan relevansinya dengan rencana karir)
  • Esay mengenai pencapaian terbesar dalam hidup
  • Esay mengenai kontribusi bagi Indonesia

Dokumen tersebut dapat diunggah sepanjang tahun melalui situs online LPDP, meskipun seleksi hanya akan dilakukan tiga bulan sekali: Di bulan Maret, Juli, September, dan Desember. Supaya persiapan tidak terburu-buru, sebaiknya dokumen untuk tahap administrasi sudah diunggah paling lambat di pertengahan bulan Februari (di tahun yang sama dengan rencana keberangkatan).

Jika lolos seleksi administrasi, tahap pendaftaran yang harus dilalui selanjutnya adalah tahap wawancara dan diskusi serta program kepemimpinan. Silahkan klik tautannya untuk mengetahui tahapan-tahapan tersebut secara detil ya.

Informasi terkait beasiswa studi di UK yang tersedia bagi pelajar Indonesia bisa dilihat di sini.

Mempersiapkan Keberangkatan

Jika sudah mendapatkan sponsor dan mendapatkan CAS (Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies) dari kampus, maka langkah terakhir yang harus dilakukan adalah mengurus VISA dan mempersiapkan diri untuk keberangkatan. Sebagai syarat student VISA ke UK, kita harus melampirkan bukti yang menunjukkan bahwa kita bebas TBC. Tes TBC (lewat chest x-ray) harus dilakukan di RS Premier dengan biaya Rp 585.000. Hasil tes bisa diambil dalam waktu tiga hari kerja.

Perjuangan terakhir adalah membuat VISA. Setelah mendaftarkan diri dan mengisi formulir di website, kita harus memilih jadwal untuk wawancara. Karena yang mendaftar VISA UK cukup banyak dan waktu wawancara terbatas, usahakan membuat VISA paling lambat bulan Juli. Wawancara dan pengumpulan berkas dilakukan di kantor VFS Global di Kuningan City. Jika tidak bermasalah, VISA akan diberikan setelah 3 minggu. Untuk proses ini sampai sekarang masih saya lalui karena VISA saya juga belum keluar. I'm keeping my finger crossed. 



Semoga informasi yang saya bagi cukup membantu ya. Ayo kuliah di luar negeri supaya bisa belajar dari sistem yang sudah baik dan mengaplikasikannya untuk memperbaiki sistem di Indonesia. Prosesnya memang nggak instan dan mungkin akan sulit bagi sebagian orang, but just keep in mind that it will be worth it in the end. Selamat berjuang, ya. Feel free to leave me some questions. Good luck!

Friday, August 15, 2014

To Leave and Start Over

I will be leaving in a month. A month! In 35 days, I'm going to embark on a 15-hour flight (plus 5 hours transit) solitarily to Manchester and live in York; a small, beautiful city in Yorkshire, England. It's a one-way trip, so anything could happen. 

I have mixed feelings about my departure. It's exciting, of course, knowing that I'm going to visit Europe and stay for a year. Not everyone gets a chance to pursue her/his dream to study abroad without paying a penny, and hence I feel really grateful.  The timetable that has just published by the faculty gets me even more excited, knowing that I'm going to go back to school soon. Furthermore, being able to start over and stay in a place where no one knows me is always something that I want to experience. I'm immensely enthusiastic!

"Everybody has to leave their home and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons." - Donald Miller. 
But being the worrywart and overthinker that I always am, of course I'm also worried about my adjustment there. Will I be able to follow the class and thrive? Will I have new friends? Will I really feel happy to be away from home for the first time? Will everything turn out as I planned? Will I be just fine? 

No matter what happen, I am sure that the next 12 months will be one of the most significant chapters of my life. It could change me, even. At least I'll learn to be really independent and responsible. To be stong enough to stand on my own feet. I will also definitely learn about tolerance and about being a "second-class citizen" - a minority. 

To an amazing, brand new journey. No matter how many "what if-s" popped up in my head, I'm pretty sure that I'll be alright. 


Wednesday, August 13, 2014

To Teach

I always have passion in teaching, be it to children or adults. Be they preschoolers, K-12 students, adolescents, diverse learners, or even bright university students. Whether it's English, psychology, or Quran. It's somehow rewarding and can shower me with immense bliss, the feeling that even money can't do.

It's the way the students' face light up to know that it's me who will teach them again. Or the way they talk about other-not-so-fun-teachers in front of me. Or the way the laugh so freely and look enthusiastic. It's the way they smile and nod to hear what I explain. Or the way they trust me with their personal problems. It's the way they listen to me so carefully, even though some of them look unfocused and sleepy sometimes. Or the way they ask to take a picture with me. It's the way they appreciate me with a "thank you", and the way they say goodbye at the end of the day. Observing them, and knowing that I seem to do well, always make my day. 

Teaching is one of a few activities that I don't mind doing without being paid. I can teach for hours without being exhausted. It's the feeling that makes me think that I'm actually helping someone to be a better person, I guess. That I can persuade someone with things that I always value. That somehow, I matter. Even though it might not be true, teaching always make me feel good and confident about myself. Teaching is not an easy thing to do, but I love it anyway. 

"The teacher is the one who gets the most out of the lessons, and the true teacher is the learner." - Elbert Hubbart

To more years of teaching, no matter where, how, and whom to. 

Sunday, August 10, 2014

To Embark on A Trip

Up until this year, I didn't know that traveling can really boost up my mood. That it can really make me happy. Well apparently it does, especially when there's a chance for me to be in solitude. Just me and nature, or alone around some strangers who speak languages that I do not.


I thought I don't like to travel, but it turns out that I actually do, as long as I'm going to somewhere beautiful, with the right people to travel with.





I've been trying to cut myself a break and to enjoy my youth - to forget those prolonged apprehensions for awhile. Because worrying about them all the time won't make them solved and me feel better.

How great is Our Creator who designed these beautiful views?







Looking forward to another new experiences. I must see a lot of new places around Europe next year!

Sunday, July 27, 2014

About Don And Rosie

I rarely read fiction books because most of the times I end up turning the page back and forth, trying to find out which one is whom. I'm not good at remembering names, that's why. I prefer to read non-fiction books, and watch movies and tv series instead.

But a few days ago, an article on my Feedly showed 6 books that Bill Gates recommended to read this summer. Five of them are business/science-related books, except for this one, a novel. He also mentioned that he doesn't usually like novels because he found it hard to remember the character's names. What are the odds! I then got curious and decided to read the book. I've never seen it in any bookstores, so I decided to download one (yes, guilty as charged, sorry). Will definitely buy a copy as soon as it's available, though.




The book is about Don Tillman, a genetic professor with Asperger's syndrome, even though it's never really told in the novel and it seems like he didn't even know that he has Asperger's. One of the reason behind my enjoyment in reading the book is because the readers are welcomed to see things from his perspective, and I get it. I know Simsion overgeneralized a person with ASD (from this book, Don is very similar with Sheldon Cooper), but I can imagine one or two of my students (with mild autism or Asperger's) doing or saying things that Don does. He is socially inept, blunt, has difficulty in understanding social cues and to see things from other people's perspective, has brilliant memory, doesn't fancy physical touch, and always complies to the rules. Too cliché, but I suppose it's still tolerable, considering that this is a fiction work that needs to be enjoyable by the readers.

As a person with Asperger's who is looking for a wife, Don obviously has a list. A long list, to be exact. He wants his wife to be intelligent, not smoking nor drink (but he then change this criterion because apparently it's hard to find someone who doesn't drink in Australia), punctual, not a vegetarian, and a lot more. He even made a questionnaire to make his "wife project" more efficient. Sounds foolish? Not for me. I feel like I'm Don, or the mild, normal version of Don. I set the bar too high, or too picky, as some friend told me. I even decided to create a questionnaire myself (an open-ended and two-way one, unlike Don's, to make sure that we want the same thing). That's why the book gets even more interesting.

Unsurprisingly, a lot of women didn't meet his standard. He met a perfect candidate named Bianca, but the feeling was not reciprocal, as she wanted someone who can dance. He also met Rosie, an attractive young barmaid (who was later explained to be a PhD student in psychology as well) who lies far below the benchmark. Don crossed her name off his "Wife Project" list after their first date, but they remained friends and did a "father project" together. Using Don's expertise, they both tried to find out who Rosie's biological father is by testing abundance of people's DNAs. 

We all know how it turned out in the end: They fell in love. Don and Rosie think that he is incapable of love, but I do think that he is. Not in a neurotypical-person kind of way, perhaps, but his willingness to change and to spend the rest of his life with her against all odds, that's love.

“I asked you here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible" - Don to Rosie

A love story about an intelligent professor and an outgoing psychology PhD student - what's not to like? This book is also light enough to be read anywhere, anytime. It's also witty and heart-warming. I smiled a lot when I read it.

At the end, Don chose to be with Rosie even though she is far from what he expected at first. 

“I haven’t changed my mind. That’s the point! I want to spend my life with you even though it’s totally irrational. And you have short earlobes. Socially and genetically there’s no reason for me to be attracted to you. The only logical conclusion is that I must be in love with you.”

And here is the most interesting part: They both didn't want their partners to change. They didn't yearn for those, but they accepted each other as he/she was. Nevertheless, Don realized that Rosie and The Rosie Project had changed him in several ways.

“If you really love someone, you have to be prepared to accept them as they are. Maybe you hope that one day they get a wake-up call and make the changes for their own reasons.” - Claudia (a friend) to Don
It's only a fiction work who (almost) always ends happily. It sure gets me all dreamy, but I guess it's just a normal neurotypical person's reaction to a cute, sweet love story.

At the end, we never know who will we end up with. It could be a person that we have been praying for years, or someone who we would never imagine to spend our lives with. Just believe that whomever that is, he/she is someone who Allah thinks will suit us best. Because I don't think that Don will work with Bianca. In order to live, Don needs Rosie.


Monday, July 21, 2014

Tentang Menutup Aurat

Saya pertama kali menggunakan jilbab ketika berusia sebelas hari. Iya, hari, bukan tahun. Ketika itu, jilbab anak belum jadi tren, sehingga hampir semua jilbab saya adalah hasil jahitan nenek dan ibu saya. Meskipun saya baru benar-benar menutup aurat ketika telah menstruasi (sebelumnya saya masih suka pakai celana selutut saat berenang atau lepas jilbab kalau merasa kegerahan), orang tua saya sudah membiasakan saya untuk berjilbab sejak kecil.


Jilbab pertama




Alhamdulillah, karena telah dilatih sejak kecil, aurat saya tidak pernah tersingkap (kecuali kaki dan tangan karena suka bandel). Tapi kadang-kadang saya iri sama teman-teman saya yang menemukan jalannya sendiri. Rasanya pasti beda dong ya. Saya juga pernah melewati masa-masa di mana saya iri sama teman-teman saya yang nggak berjilbab, meskipun nggak pernah sampai kepengen lepas jilbab. But in the end, saya tentu bersyukur karena lingkungan saya selalu mendukung saya untuk menutup aurat.


Jadi, kenapa sih harus pake jilbab?

Alasan utamanya ya karena wajib. Karena ada di surat An-Nuur (24) : 31. Saya bukan orang yang setuju kalau interpretasi terhadap Al-Quran merupakan hal yang bisa diubah seenaknya sesuai dengan perubahan zaman, jadi buat saya, jilbab tetap wajib. Titik. 

Kalaupun ternyata jibab nggak wajib (seperti argumentasi beberapa orang), manfaatnya tetep banyak kok. Salah satu manfaat dari berjilbab yang saya bener-bener rasain adalah menjaga diri saya dari tempat-tempat dan kegiatan-kegiatan yang negatif. Ah, kan saya pake jilbab, masak ngerokok (meskipun sempet ada di situasi di mana semua temen cewek di sekitar saya ngerokok dan rasanya penasaran banget buat iseng nyoba); ah, saya kan pake jilbab, masak nonton konser di night club (meskipun tempat itu memang sudah sering digunakan sebagai venue konser); ah, saya kan berjilbab, masak nggak ngeduluin shalat; dan ah, ah yang lainnya.

Selain itu, jilbab membuat saya merasa lebih tenang karena tubuh saya tertutup, jadi kemungkinan dipandang sama orang lain jadi lebih kecil. Iya sih memang, ada juga beberapa kasus di mana wanita yang berjilbab tetap menjadi korban pelecehan seksual. Tapi saya percaya bahwa pakaian dan perilaku yang provoking akan membuka celah dan godaan yang lebih besar. Di saat yang bersamaan, laki-laki tentu juga punya kewajiban untuk menundukkan pandangan dan menghormati wanita - tapi tidak ada salahnya kan, melakukan tindakan preventif?

Memakai jilbab bukanlah bentuk opresi dan bentuk rasa malu terhadap tubuh sendiri (sehingga membuka aurat menurut saya juga bukan cara untuk mengekspresikan diri atau menunjukkan kebebasan), tapi justru bentuk penghormatan terhadap diri kita. Bentuk penghargaan terhadap anggota-anggota tubuh yang tentu harus dijaga untuk seseorang yang istimewa, bukan untuk semua orang yang berpapasan dengan kita. Itu yang saya yakini. Someone would feel happier if they could touch, see, and do things other people couldn't, right?

Memakai jilbab dan menutupi bagian tubuh yang buat sebagian orang justru merupakan "aset", pada akhirnya membuat saya lebih percaya dengan kemampuan saya sendiri. Bukan tubuh saya yang jadi penilaian utama, but what's within.

Selain itu, jilbab adalah identitas utama sebagai seorang muslimah. Saya baru memahami makna ini ketika sedang pergi ke Hongkong, negara yang mayoritas penduduknya bukan muslim. Di sana, berpapasan dengan orang yang berjilbab (baik orang Indonesia maupun dari bangsa lain) rasanya seperti kembali ke rumah. Rasanya nyaman banget, dan indah karena pasti jadi saling bertukar salam dan senyum. Saya baru merasakan makna "saudara seiman" ketika sedang jadi minoritas. It felt that happy to meet your sisters when you're far from home.

Dan satu lagi: jilbab membantu kita mengurangi dosa ayah (atau suami) kita, karena seorang laki-laki memiliki kewajiban untuk memberi tahu istri dan anak-anaknya untuk menutup aurat, seperti yang tertulis dalam QS. Al-Ahzab (33) ayat 59. I would do anything to release my father from such a burden.



Tapi gerah!

Saya nggak akan bilang "enggak kok nggak gerah, kan hatinya jadi adem". Saya termasuk tipe "makhluk kutub" yang harus kena AC dan gets super-cranky kalau kegerahan. Ada kalanya saya sadar kok, dunia jadi jauuuhhh lebih adem dan dingin begitu saya lepas jilbab dan kardigan. Ada kalanya saya sirik sama temen-temen yang bisa pakai baju dengan bahan yang tipis ke kampus. Kalau saya mau pakai baju dengan bahan setipe, saya harus pakai kaos ketat di dalam. Makin gerah. Tapi gini, buat saya memakai jilbab itu adalah bentuk pengorbanan luar biasa dari seorang wanita. Yang namanya berkorban emang nggak akan gampang. Kadang gerah, keringetan, dan bahkan bikin rambut rontok dan ketombean. Tapi, yang namanya berkorban, balasan yang akan kita dapatkan di akhir juga akan setimpal. Versi kasar dan klisenyanya gini, segerah-gerahnya matahari Jakarta, gerahan mana coba sama matahari di neraka?


Tapi nanti jadi nggak cantik!

Komentar ini udah nggak relevan lagi kali yah di jaman sekarang, apalagi kalau tinggal di Indonesia, pusat muslim fashion dunia. Bahkan banyak orang yang justru baru jadi stylish setelah pakai jilbab. Saya bukan penganut Islam garis keras yang berkoar-koar bahwa jilbab "ala hijabers" itu haram. Yang saya yakini, berjilbab dengan warna dan motif yang lucu itu nggak dosa kok, asal tetap mengikuti kaidahnya (misalnya tetap menutup liuk tubuh dan nggak tembus pandang). Ini debatable banget tapi ya, jadi silahkan ikuti kata hati masing-masing. Mulai berjilbab dari jilbab yang pendek menurut saya juga nggak masalah, asal terus belajar dan dipanjangin dikit-dikit. Pilih aja style yang paling nyaman di awal, namanya juga lagi belajar. Saya malah seneng jilbab jadi tren, karena jadi banyak banget yang berani berjibab. Oh iya, nggak ada kewajiban untuk pakai jilbab lebar dan panjang sampai ke bokong kok - itu pure pilihan, silakan pakai seperti itu kalau merasa nyaman, tapi yang wajib ditutupi hanya sampai dada (asal pakaiannya juga nggak ketat ya). Just find a style that suits you best.


Tapi belum pantas!

Memakai jilbab itu bukan setelah shalat kita rajin dan perilaku kita sempurna. Memakai jilbab itu bukan setelah bisa ngaji dan sering puasa sunnah. Memakai jilbab itu kewajiban, sama seperti shalat. Sama juga seperti kewajiban untuk berbakti kepada orang tua dan memperlakukan orang lain dengan pantas. Sama-sama wajib. Kalau nunggu sempurna dulu ya nggak akan mulai, karena saya udah pakai jilbab hampir 21 tahun juga masih gini perilakunya (not something to brag about, I know). Menurut saya, berjilbab dan memperbaiki ibadah dan perilaku itu harus dilakukan sejalan, nggak ada yang lebih utama untuk dilakukan duluan. Berjilbab adalah salah satu bentuk penghambaan terhadap Allah dan salah satu cara untuk menjaga diri dalam pergaulan.

Satu lagi, buat saya jilbab juga merupakan cara saya bersyukur. Saya Sudah mendapatkan banyak sekali kenikmatan dan kemudahan di dunia - masak berkorban sedikit saja saya nggak mau?


Tapi belum siap!

Kalau gitu banyak-banyak berdoa sama Allah supaya lebih mantep hatinya, dan banyak-banyak ngobrol sama temen yang berjilbab. Insya Allah dibantuin sama Allah kok, asal niatnya baik.


Meskipun saya menulis ini, bukan berarti saya sudah sempurna dalam menutup aurat. Pergelangan tangan saya masih suka keliatan, kaos kaki masih suka nerawang, jilbabnya juga masih suka keangkat karena kekeuh ga mau pake jilbab-panjang-konvensional. Perilaku saya juga belum mencerminkan muslimah panutan - masih jauuuhhhh banget. Tapi saya memberanikan diri untuk menulis ini karena momennya sedang tepat, dan karena saya merasa memiliki kewajiban untuk menyampaikan walaupun hanya satu ayat. 

Kata ibu saya, kalau merasa tersinggung ketika mendengar ceramah itu berarti pertanda baik, karena berarti hatinya masih lembut. Kalau begitu, semoga teman-teman yang membaca tulisan ini jadi tersinggung, tapi nggak jadi kesel sama saya ya hehe. Semoga dibukakan hatinya untuk segera berjilbab, supaya saya juga jadi kecipratan pahalanya.

Yuk sama-sama memantaskan diri supaya jadi lebih baik :)


Saturday, July 12, 2014

About A Young Girl and A Couple

A couple came to a dinner, along with their three lovely children. The husband went straight to see his friends, who invited him to the dinner. The husband talked with his friends, laughed happily, and ate together with them. The wife took cake of the children. The wife sat with all of them in the corner, fed them, and saw them play. The wife sat there for a few hours, waiting for the husband to finish his little reunion.

A young girl, who apparently knew nothing about life, observed. Don't get her wrong - she is not a feminist who doesn't want to do the "woman-part" at home. There was nothing wrong with what the wife did, she thought. But she just doesn't want to grow like that.

She wants to be a wife that can be her husband's friends' friend. She wants to be a wife that can be involved in her husband's life. She wants to be a wife whose husband involves her in his life, and wants to be involved in her life as well. 

If that's not too much to ask. 

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Tentang Psikologi dan LGBT

Jangan bosan ya, karena lagi-lagi saya akan menulis tentang LGBT. Ya, ini buah dari serangkaian seminar yang saya ikuti, bertemakan anti-feminisme dan kesetaraan gender. Minggu ini, pembicaranya adalah seseorang yang mengambil magister psikologi (tapi entah spesifikasi bidangnya apa). Temanya adalah pandangan psikologi mengenai "normalisasi" homoseksual. Menarik ya.

Psikologi memang ilmu yang dibaliknya terdapat banyak kaum sekuler dan liberalis. Saya akui itu. Dosen dan temen saya yang jadi agnostik atau atheis setelah masuk psikologi juga ada, kok - apalagi yang "cuma" liberal atau sekuler. Tapi saya nggak setuju kalau psikologi dibilang sebagai ilmu yang sesat, atau ilmu yang nggak bermanfaat (ada beberapa ibu-ibu yang nyeletuk gitu setelah materi kemarin disampaikan). Jujur, saya sedih banget, cenderung ke marah bahkan mungkin ya, cuma ditahan karena itu bukan forum akademis (jadi kalau saya sibuk ngasih kritik orang-orang malah akan ngira saya ikutan liberal) dan karena saya lagi puasa. Catetan saya mah udah banyak banget, udah sibuk nyoret-nyoret sana-sini dan googling sana-sini buat crosscheck data. Udah siap dengan counter-argument untuk beberapa poin yang saya nilai asumtif atau subyektif. Tapi ditahan sama ibu saya karena takut menjatuhkan kredibilitas pembicara.

Saya jatuh cinta dengan ilmu psikologi. Buat saya, menemukan penjelasan mengenai manusia itu rasanya menyenangkan. Pembicara kemarin bilang kalau belajar psikologi itu buang-buang waktu dan "nggak menambah keimanan". Buat saya, mempelajari tentang proses mental dan perilaku manusia justru makin membuat saya kagum sama Allah, yang bisa menciptakan manusia dengan segitu kompleksnya. Kalau belajar ilmu baru emang nggak boleh su'uzhan dulu, supaya bisa dapet hikmahnya.

Saya kecewa karena pembicara kemarin asal "nyaplok" teori dan penelitian psikologi yang berlawanan dengan ideologi dia (dan kebanyakan peserta seminar). Ibu saya agak heran ngeliat saya sekesal itu, tapi mengerti setelah saya jelaskan bahwa rasanya sama dengan ketika ada orang yang cuma belajar Islam sebentar, cuma lihat cuplikan ayat tentang poligami, warisan, dan "memukul istri" tanpa baca tafsir, tapi sibuk berkoar-koar kalau Islam itu agama yang diskriminatif terhadap wanita. Ya gimana enggak, teori yang dibahas kemarin cuma humanistik, psikoanalisis, behavioralistik sendiri-sendiri; padahal itu pilihan cara pandang, dan padahal ada cara pandang baru yang lebih menyeluruh dan masuk akal; cara pandang yang lebih kontemporer, yang menganggap bahwa manusia terbentuk berdasarkan pengaruh genetis dan lingkungan; nature versus nurture.

Selain itu, pembicara juga menjelaskan seolah-olah semua orang yang belajar psikologi setuju dengan teori Freud dan pandangan bahwa manusia bebas melakukan apapun demi kebahagiaan pribadinya. Ditambah dengan pernyataan bahwa dalam ilmu psikologi, benar dan salah adalah hal yang relatif dan bebas ditentukan sendiri. Saya sih sepakat kalau benar dan salah memang merupakan hal yang bersifat relatif, tapi diatur oleh norma yang berlaku di masyarakat setempat. Agama bisa jadi salah satu faktor penentunya. Jadi nggak bener kalau menurut psikologi semua perilaku bisa dilakukan asal bikin bahagia. Kalau bertentangan dengan norma yang berlaku di suatu kelompok (agama, suku, dan lainnya), tentu perilaku itu jadi bernilai buruk di mata kelompok tersebut. Masih ada beberapa poin lagi yang dikritisi oleh pembicara. Sayangnya, hampir tidak ada satu pun poin yang saya sepakati, yang saya anggap bisa menggambarkan psikologi secara obyektif. Kebanyakaan yang dia sampaikan oversimplified dan bias. 

Pada pertemuan kemarin, si pembicara juga sempat membahas mengenai kritik yang ia sampaikan terhadap hasil-hasil penelitian neuropsikologi mengenai homoseksualitas. Penelitian-penelitian yang menunjukkan bahwa homoseksualitas mungkin muncul karena ada perbedaan di struktur otak, kromosom, dan lainnya. Penelitian-penelitian yang menunjukkan bahwa homoseksualitas terjadi karena masalah genetik. Sayangnya, menurut saya, pembicara tidak punya kapabilitas (dari segi ilmu pengetahuan) untuk menyampaikan kritik tersebut. Jadinya malah bikin justifikasi doang, bahwa penelitian-penelitian itu dibuat untuk melegalkan homoseksualitas dengan menunjukkan "I was born this way". Dia kekeuh kalau homoseksualitas itu seratus persen lingkungan, titik. Kalau ada gangguan hormon atau otak ya itu pengecualian. Yang bikin lebih gemes lagi, penelitian yang diambil adalah penelitian-penelitian lama (ada sih yang dia bilang baru, tapi tahun 2005, 7 tahun yang lalu), padahal saya tahu ada penelitian yang lebih baru. Saya belum bisa komentar banyak soal ini, karena saya merasa pengetahuan saya belum cukup banyak untuk bisa me-review jurnal neuroscience dan neuropsikologi. Ini salah satu PR buat saya setelah selesai kuliah magister nanti (meskipun bidang studi yang saya tekuni hanya tipis irisannya dengan masalah gender dan seksualitas).

My point is, hati-hati dalam memberikan komentar, apalagi terhadap hasil penelitian yang dilakukan oleh orang yang memiliki ilmu di bidang tersebut. Kritik boleh banget diberikan, tapi harus didukung oleh fakta dan basic ilmu yang kuat. Jangan coba-coba mengkritik sesuatu kalau ternyata kita belum benar-benar memahaminya. Silahkan kritis, tapi jangan skeptis. Jangan sampai kebencian kita terhadap suatu hal membuat mata, hati, dan telinga kita jadi tertutup.

Saya makin rindu dengan situasi diskusi akademis, di mana dua pihak dengan pandangan dan nilai yang berbeda bisa saling menyampaikan dan mendengarkan pendapat tanpa saling menjatuhkan. Karena belum tentu kita yang benar, iya kan?

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tentang Memilih Presiden

Saya sudah dekat dengan politik sejak masih balita. Iya, di partai yang kadernya suka bawa anak saat kampanye atau long-march itu :) Meskipun demikian, kedua orang tua saya, yang hingga saat ini masih aktif sebagai kader di partai itu, cukup terbuka dan menerima pendapat anak-anaknya yang mulai kritis. Diskusi-diskusi mengenai politik juga sebenarnya sudah sering terjadi sejak saya dan adik-adik saya masih duduk di bangku sekolah. It has been one of our dinner topic. Adik saya yang masih SD aja bahkan sekarang udah bisa diajak ngomongin politik, meskipun kacamatanya masih sempit. Saya sih mikirnya gini, kalaupun saya akhirnya memilih partai dan/atau calon presiden yang sama dengan orang tua saya, saya maunya itu terjadi karena pilihan saya, bukan karena saya ikut-ikutan. Kalaupun pilihannya berbeda, saya juga maunya itu terjadi karena saya punya alasan yang kuat, bukan cuma karena nggak suka sama pilihan orang tua. Selain itu, saya juga senang berdiskusi dengan orang tua saya untuk membuka pikiran mereka, karena saat ini kami memiliki lingkungan pertemanan yang cukup berbeda.

Menentukan pilihan presiden buat saya bukanlah perkara mudah. Pasalnya, nilai-nilai yang saya anut nampaknya hanya bisa terfasilitasi oleh salah satu pihak. Saya suka pemimpin yang pinter bicara dan bisa mempresentasikan dirinya dengan baik, tapi saya juga mau yang track record-nya baik. Dan yang paling bikin galau, saya butuh presiden (beserta tim suksesnya) yang punya concern lebih terhadap pendidikan dan pengembangan sumber daya manusia, tapi saya juga nggak mau kalau ada orang-orang yang pluralis dan liberalis menjabat bidang-bidang strategis (kalau salah satu calon terpilih). Setiap pasangan capres memiliki kelebihan dan kekurangannya masing-masing, yang menurut saya cukup berimbang. Tergantung nilai apa yang dianut oleh pendukungnya. Tergantung yang mana yang dianggap lebih penting untuk saat ini.




Karenanya, saya kurang suka sama orang-orang yang terlalu fanatik di pilpres ini. Iya tau, ada bener-bener nggak suka sama kandidat yang lain, tapi jangan sampe jadi nggak fair lah. Jangan sampe pas nonton debat jadi tertutup mata-hati-telinganya, sampe yang dimasukin ke pikiran dan yang dibahas cuma jawaban yang bagus aja. Sekalinya lawan salah ngomong dikit, jadi ejekan seminggu. That's unfair. Oke, saya hargai kalau ada orang-orang yang udah nentuin pilihan dari awal dan mau menyuarakan pilihannya itu. That takes a lot of courage, and I appreciate it. Tapi please, please jangan sampai terlalu buta dalam membela orang lain. Nggak ada orang yang sempurna, not even the president-to-be that you adore. Jangan terlalu sotoy juga dalam mengumbar kekurangan lawan, kalau ternyata memang nggak tau dari kedua sisi. Never judge a person before you know the whole story.

Tapi, kalau dipikir-pikir, terlalu kritis dan banyak pertimbangan juga kadang nggak bagus. Ya gini, kayak saya, butuh berminggu-minggu sampai akhirnya menetapkan pilihan. Ini juga belum yakin 100%, karena kalau nunggu yakin ya nggak akan punya sikap. Penyakit anak psikologi sih ini kayaknya: Terlalu banyak mau, terlalu banyak pertimbangan, terlalu banyak mikir di tengah karena prinsipnya semua hal itu relatif - pake prinsip "ya tergantung" - tergantung dilihat dari sisi mana, tergantung kondisi, tergantung nilai. Sampai akhirnya suka kesulitan sendiri dalam menentukan pilihan. Eh, apa saya aja ya yang kayak gitu? Haha.

Fenomena pilpres ini buat saya menarik banget karena saya bener-bener bisa ngeliat bukti nyata bahwa satu hal yang sama, bahkan satu kalimat yang sama, bisa diinterpretasi berbeda oleh orang-orang yang memandangnya dari perspektif yang berbeda. Dan bahwa benar memang, haters will hate and lovers will love. Banyak banget orang yang milih Jokowi karena cinta mati sama Jokowi dari awal, atau yang milih Prabowo karena benci setengah mati sama Jokowi yang dianggap terlalu "cari muka" dari awal - dan sebaliknya. Nggak peduli deh kalau kandidat yang lain tiba-tiba ngasih jawaban yang bagus, atau kalau kandidat yang didukung tiba-tiba ngasih jawaban yang nggak masuk akal; pokoknya cinta sama si A dan benci sama si B. Saya sih seneng banget sama para pendukung yang masih terbuka dan masih bisa menuliskan kekurangan kandidat pilihannya, atau menuliskan kelebihan pasangan lawan, di blog dan jejaring sosial. It takes even more courage to do that, to see things from the opposite point of view.

Apapun pilihannya, yuk lebih bijak dan lebih menerima pilihan orang lain yang berbeda. Some people choose religion over personal quality; some people choose humbleness; some people choose ingenuity; some people choose track record; and that's fine. Nggak ada yang salah atau bener kok, cuma masalah preferensi pribadi dan perbedaan nilai aja.

Bismillah, semoga kandidat yang terpilih nanti, siapapun itu, bisa memberikan kontribusi nyata untuk memperbaiki kualitas bangsa ini ya!

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