Sunday, October 31, 2010

Yes, This Is What We Always Do

You know what we do when we're desperate or upset about something? When we feel really sad but we can't share it with anyone, even if she/he is our best friend, because we think it might not be appropriate? Or when we think our problem is too complicated (or even too simple) to be understood by another person? Or when we already knew that this is our own fault, so telling people, even if they love us so much, is just gonna make we feel worse because of the judgments we will get?

Well, here's what we do. We put smiley face on that so called social networks. We still can cheer up our friends who need to be cheered without letting them know that we also need someone who supports us and tells us that everything's gonna be okay. We lock ourselves in our room and cry, and wipe our tears as soon as our parents or siblings call out our name. We don't want them to know that we're sad. We write down something in our blog or anything about our feeling, but without letting other people know about why we feel this way. We turn our iPod on and listen to our favorite songs with the loudest volume, so we can't hear anything but the music.
We try to sleep and forget our problems.

And, the next morning, though we still can't forget the problem at all, we forget the sad-feeling we felt the last night. We just feel too happy and excited to face the new day. We meet our friends and have fun with them. And when in our lecturer tell us to share our problems with our partner, we can't even remember what our problems are. We just know that we're happy and we can manage everything. And, yes, we're known as the cheerful person, who always know how to make people laugh and know how to make people feel better.

And by we, I mean me.
Or maybe you, or anyone who ever felt this way.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

(One Of) The Difference

"Jadi psikolog itu beda dengan jadi temen curhat. Kalo jadi temen curhat, biasanya kita secepat itu memberikan solusi ke temen yang curhat sama kita. Temen curhat biasanya bersimpati, sedangkan psikolog harusnya berempati
Psikolog tidak memberikan solusi - tapi memberikan pertanyaan-pertanyaan ke kliennya yang mengarahkan mereka untuk bisa memutuskan sendiri solusi dari permasalahan mereka.
- disarikan dari omongan Mbak Pingkan di bincang karir Introduction To Psychology dan ditambah dengan prior knowledge saya, terutama setelah mendapatkan kuliah Psikologi Bantuan.

See the difference?
Nah, itu yang bikin saya khawatir. Saya orangnya gampang banget ngasih solusi, padahal bisa aja solusi yang saya kasih berkaitan erat dengan masa depan temen saya (misalnya, saya nyuruh dia putus - padahal bisa aja cowoknya/ceweknya itu yang akan jadi suami/istri dia nanti). Setelah beberapa kali dateng ke kuliah Psikologi Bantuan, saya jadi tau kalo yang memberikan solusi itu seharusnya mereka sendiri.

Kenapa? Supaya mereka yang bertanggung jawab dengan keputusannya itu. Jadi, mulai sekarang saya mau belajar buat nggak secepet itu ngasih solusi ke temen saya yang punya masalah. Well, nggak segampang itu sih - apalagi orang biasanya mengharapkan solusi dari temen curhatnya. Saya akan belajar untuk memberikan pendapat dari sudut pandang saya, tapi nggak memaksa dia untuk melihat masalahnya dari sudut pandang saya. Susah sih. Nggak yakin bisa sih. Tapi ayolah, harus belajar!
Well, ini cuma pikiran random saya di pagi hari. Ciao!


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