Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Regardless

It has been six weeks, and I love it here. Even though I barely understand the lectures. Even though sometimes people talk too fast during the lecture and I get lost. Even though I feel stupid most of the times. Even though everyone seems so smart and critical. I love it here regardless, because I know I'm learning a lot, even from my classmates. I love it here because all of my lectures seem so dedicated and passionate about what they do. And all of my lecturers are also researchers, with a specialty on at least a field, which makes them all critical, resourceful, and of course, amazing. And the gap between lecturer and student here is somewhat narrow, as we can call them by their first name and they would be very pleased to hear our critics and ideas. I also love it here because the department uses more scientific (neuropsychology) approach, with all the brain-imaging research and such. It's no longer "social science". It is, science; life science. 

I love it here, despite of the fact that I have to put extra effort to pray and eat halal food. There is no mosque on the city center, and no halal restaurant that offer any food that is not pizza, Indian cuisine, or mediterranean one. Despite of the fact that I miss having dinner-conversations with my family. Despite of the fact that I miss doing all the religious routines with them. I miss doing congregation prayers with my brother, or doing suhoor and breaking fast together (now they just feel like a regular meal). I love it here regardless, because everyone is so nice and friendly. Because I have a few close friends whom I can be myself around. Because I have more chance to enlarge my circle and step out of my comfort zone.

I love it here, although I have to walk more than 18,000 steps a day sometimes. Although it's cold most of the times. Although I have to walk faster than I used to be, because that's just how people walk here. Although everything is so expensive here, and I have to balance my urge to shop and travel and my intention to save up. I love it here regardless, because of the clean, fresh air and the tranquility of this beautiful city that I currently live in. Because I have more chance to see other parts of the world and its locals. Because I have more chance to enjoy my present days, even though I still constantly worry about my future (because that's just who I am).

To live and study here is not easy. It will probably get easier, but it will never be easy. Because that's just how life works. But I love it here anyway.

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