To Live A Meaningful Life

Dear Future Ayas,

Please remember that a few days ago (current time, not future time) you shared a conversation with an Indonesian friend that is also studying at York. He has worked for Indonesian government for several years now, and he told you stories about Indonesia.

It's a similar story that you have heard several times, actually. He's been to many remote areas in Indonesia and witnessed a lot of issues. Poverty, corruption, poor quality of education, you name it.

He told you about a small village which has only a school where the teachers had not been paid for 3 months, yet there was a band invited to the amuse the people in the village and they got paid for 500 million rupiahs.

He also told you about the way his friends who work in Customs & Excise, who has corrupted hundreds of millions and don't even feel guilty about it anymore.

He opened your eyes and lit it up at the same time - because you did realize that you want to do something. You didn't know what you could do exactly, but you knew you can't just ignore those facts.

Dear Ayas,

Whatever happen in the future, please remember that you once had a dream that you could do something for your country. That you could do something to make every child in your country to receive the same quality of education and have a happy life at home. That you believed that it could then alleviate the problems of Indonesia, as the lack of education seems to be the root of all the problems.

Whatever you do in the future, please remember that your dream was to make a change and help people, not to gain a lot of money.

Please remember that money and possessions are not the only criteria to measure success. So you'll also remember that it's okay if you couldn't make more money than most of your friends. It's okay if you choose not to buy designer bags and pricey shoes, or eat at fancy restaurants. It's okay.

Dear Ayas,

I do hope that you won't see this post as something silly and naive. I hope you will keep the idealism and find a way to make a change. I hope you still remember that it's a meaningful and content life that you're after, not a glamorous one. 

You just have to figure it out. Or maybe by now you have?

A Second Chance

I am currently on a mission to spend more time reading. TV series, movies, and all the gadgets I have make it so hard to get lost in a book, no matter how good it is. I read less than 10 books last year, and I think less than 5 a year beforehand. I have promised myself to read, and got even more enthusiastic after reading this article.

So I decided to give reading a second chance. I want to feel the same way about books like I did ten years ago. Now I have read more than 15 books this year, and even though it's not that much, I am proud of myself because I show progress.

If you also do want to be an avid reader again, the first thing that you need to do to start reading is deciding what genre would be most suitable for you. Just think about the kind of movie you'd usually go to, or the topic that intrigues you. Mine would be fiction (the adult one), parenting, religion, and psychology. You should also decide what are you reading for: Is it solely for amusement? Or do you also want to deepen your understanding about something?

The next step that should be done is signing up for a Goodreads account. If you want to start reading again, you have to make sure that you are not going to spend hours reading a book that's not even worth your time. I started by looking at books from Goodreads Choice Awards. I know that everybody have a different taste and you might not like the book that another hundred thousands of people do, but reading a best-seller is a safe bet. Also, listing the book that you have read and want to read is a good idea to make you focused and feel more excited. The community is also important, as you'll find thousands of people who are profoundly passionate about reading.

You want to see book recommendations in a video form because that's just something that you enjoy? Then the so-called BookTube is the right place. Just search a book's title in YouTube, and watch the review. The only BookTube-r I subscribe is Booksandquills, just because she can make a book sounds very interesting and make me want to read it (even though I might not really like the book after all). I'm still looking for one that suit my reading preference the most, though.

Besides Goodreads and YouTube, of course you can ask your friends for recommendations, although it's not easy to find someone who reads lately - especially someone who reads the kind of book that you like to read. So whenever a close friend of mine posted a book on Path, I try to read the review on Goodreads to decide if the book is worth reading, and start enjoying it if it is.

If you're starting to get comfortable with a particular genre (and that includes bestseller), get out of your comfort zone and start reading a different book. I put some classics into my to-read lists, because I know there must be a reason why those book are still relished after all these years.

If there is a movie or TV series based on a bestseller book, which one would you prefer? I do enjoy watching it (especially if it's an action or sci-fi) as it would help visualise the book and make me got into it better with all the sound effect, but I learned lately that the latter would give you so much more.

First and foremost, reading a book will give you perspective. It gives you a chance to really understand what's going on in the character's minds. It will be easier to walk in their shoes if we do know what they feel about something. And it will feel more personal and emotional, I think.

Reading can also give you more chance to imagine. The characters could be anyone you want to picture. The setting could even look more personal. You choose. It's your own adventure.

Besides, I think reading is better for your brain. It will help you develop a good sense of language and give you exposures of new, fancy vocabularies. Most friends I know who reads has a more unique way to put up sentences. It's also good to improve our memory and concentration, I reckon, as those are essential to keep up with the story.

So if you loved reading growing up, but got so busy or lazy due to the technology, gave it another chance. Go to a bookstore or get yourself an e-reader, and start over. It has been a great experience for me so far and now I can't wait to tick every book that's on my to-read list.

Too much to read! (Source)

And be easy on yourself. You don't have to like a book that everybody else does. You don't have a to read a book that sounds smart. Well, in a book store at York, I saw a sign that said, "Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it", so at least find a book that won't make you look terribly embarrassing. Just start with something you are fascinated about, then explore new things.

Happy reading!

A Bothering Brother

Let me tell you something about someone whom I once considered as my biggest enemy, yet I know I couldn't live without. Someone whom I have known for exactly 20 years today.

Meet my smirky little brother.

Just like any other siblings in the world, we used to fight a lot. He used to punch and kick me, and I used to grab his hair and told him that he was adopted, as he is the only one in the family who has O blood type (worked like a charm, every single time). We fought every day and drove our parents crazy. We are only 18 months apart and it was only the two of us until 5 years later, so we became each other's biggest rival.

During the fight, especially in my preadolescence years when he became my biggest bully, I used to cry and wonder, why did Allah give me such an annoying little brother. Why do we hate each other so much? Why didn't He give me an older brother who can protect me instead? Yes, you know how dramatic a preteen girl could be - especially the one who read a lot of teen-lit and always compare herself with other people.

As we grew older, we develop a healthier relationship. We talked a lot about life, religion, politics, education, and the future. We talked about our parents and helped each other to adjust, as we realized that we have different norms at home and out there. He is still an annoying snob sometimes, but he can be sweet when I need him to. He's still childish most of the time, but he can act like my older brother when I need him to, perhaps because my parents always treat him like the oldest son in the family, instead of the second child. The moment when my dad was sick and needed a blood transfusion, I know right away that my infuriating little brother has turned into a dependable grown-up, and God only knows what I would do without him.

My brother was a classic middle child who was quite rebellious during his adolescence, but eventually he found his passion and figured out what he wants to be. At my graduation day, he told me that he didn't want to graduate in 3.5 years and with a cum laude just like his sister, as it sounds lame and geeky. But now? Now he is the geek in the family, as he spends hours to code every day, becomes the Assistant Lecturer, and works hard to maintain his GPA and graduate in less than 4 years whilst still being actively involved in several organizations. That's when I know that he is going to be someone in the future and I have nothing to worry about.

We're still not that sweet-siblings who tell I love you to each other, but since I'm away and I miss him (and my family) a lot, let me write this for once in my life. Thank you for being a significant part of my life. And thank you for saying this a few months ago,

"I have always thought that you'll end up with a man who is better than me, or at least as good as me."

It means a lot, even though I know how difficult it is to find a man who can meet that expectation.

So happy birthday and welcome to the early adulthood! May you always shine and be the man our parents taught to you be. And while I'm away, please take care of everyone and act like the oldest one in the family.

I'm not going to say this often, and I'm going to punch you if you laugh at me for saying this because I mean it, but I love you.

And I realize that having the privilege to have you and these two kiddos in my life is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.

I'll see you soon!

To Take A Walk

I never knew that walking could be enjoyable. I often heard a fictional character say, "let's take a walk," but I had never been able to relate to that, not before I came to England.

York, it turns out, is one of the best places to walk. Everything looks so pretty, the pavements are wide enough, and you can choose to either walk by a river, a big road, or a city centre. You can also walk in the garden or even around the university. And, pedestrians have priority over cars in the UK, which means that the driver will always stop when you seem like you want to cross the street. It's soothing and convenient.

York city centre

Walking by the city wall

The pavement

And now that it's spring, it's even better. It's usually around 12-17 degrees, hence warm enough not to wear any coat, but cold enough to feel the wind breeze. During the season, you can also smell the scent of wet grass and flowers. Ah, even I never noticed how beautiful flowers can be. It's definitely one of the things I took for granted back home. But after you've been through winter, you'll be so excited to see the flowers bloom again. I don't mind winter, but who could resist the allure of spring?

Daisies, daisies everywhere

"We live in a fast-paced society. Walking slow us down." - Robert Sweetgall

I like to walk alone when I feel like I need some me-time. When I had a rough week and need some time-off. I usually walk around the city centre, enter a few shops I like (as I also prefer to shop alone), and sometimes just wander around farther, just because I want to. I do walk slow, because walking is all about enjoying the journey. I like to hear the sound of people chatting or the bird chirping, but sometimes, I also prefer to put on my earphone to be completely away. Sometimes it's more relaxing that way. 

If I long for a deep conversation, walking is also the best way to do it. I like to take a long walk around the city with a friend while talking about life. Just two hours or three could recharge my energy for the following week. Unlike talking over coffee (although it's also something that I found enjoyable), having a conversation during a walk is more casual. It can be as light or deep as you want it to be, and it will save you from the necessity to always make an eye contact to your acquaintance. Knowing that I can do two things I like at once (walking and having a conversation) at once, I always get excited whenever my friends told me that they are going to come over to York and ask me to show them around.

I realized that time flies faster than I expected, and before long, I'll be back in my metropolitan, polluted city when walking means feeling unsafe that the cars or motorcycles might somehow run you over. It's definitely one of the things that I'm going to miss about living in the UK.

Come take a walk with me.