About Leaving Another Comfort Zone

Last Friday was my last day at work. I still remembered how inferior I felt during the first few weeks of working in PASKA Kemdikbud, because I have to work with talented, bright, young people who have more experiences than I do.

It turns out, there's nothing to feel intimidated about. Yes, they are smart and ambitious, but they're not condescending, nor do they make me feel stupid and unheard. In fact, I became the most assertive version of myself in the last few months, and I just couldn't be prouder.

The beloved, extraordinary team.

From them, I learned about politics, economy, education, policy making, and everything else that's happening on the news, thanks to our diverse background & their broad knowledge. But further than that, they taught me about life, too. That Allah's plans won't ever be late nor wrong, that sometimes we don't get what we want and we need to be resilient, and that we have to fight for the things that are worth fighting for. They taught me to be more assertive, to not (always) take things personally, to be ambitious in pursuing what I aspire to be, to do something and not just whining about something we don't like, to always make other people (even our subordinates) feels heard and appreciated, and so much more. 

Before I got selected to be a part of the team, I did expect meeting talented, smart, hard working people that I can learn from; but never expected good friends who would listen and accept me for what I am. I never expected having another support system whom I can trust and be myself around. Never thought they would enter the circle I kept small. And yet they did! 

Because even when I become the geekiest, weirderst, most gullible, most idealistic, or most ambitious version of myself, I'd still feel heard and accepted. Even when I felt immature and emotional, they would still be there.

Just in case any of you read this, I want to say thank you for the last 6 months (that actually felt like forever, given the work burden). Thank you for making my first working-at-a-company experience bearable and memorable. And thank you for your kind words at the farewell dinner, which I will definitely hold on to when I'm having a bad day.

I usually hate saying goodbyes, but after saying it repeatedly for the last three years, I don't anymore. Leaving means entering a new world, exploring new things, and meeting new people. It means enlarging the circle even more, and finding another comfort zone. Because goodbye means hello, and that's something I should feel excited about. And it's not even goodbye, anyway, because I believe our paths will cross again someday soon.

As cliché as it sounds. (Source: weheartit)

So even though I have been in mellow mode since the last two weeks, I feel grateful and delighted that Allah had introduced me to them. His plans have and will never fail, so why should I worry about the future, again?

About The Woman I Love

Let me tell you something about the woman I love. Someone strong, bold, and wise. Someone whom I respect and adore. Someone who has taught me to be the person that I am.

Let me tell you something about her. She used to be someone I kept fighting with, because it's unpleasant to grow up with so many rules. I used to think of her as someone controlling and annoying, but as I grew older, I understand that she really is just trying to protect me from a world so cruel.

She is exactly the kind of woman I aspire to be. She taught me to be assertive. She showed me that a woman should not only be a mother or wife, but also someone who can contribute to society, altough the former is absolutely the utmost priority.

The one thing I love the most about her, though, is her effort to listen to my opinion. She's a dominant person, but she understands that her know-it-all daughter wants to be heard. She won't be offended even when I criticize her parenting skills.

She's also a great public speaker. She knows how to inspire people. She knows how to talk to different kind of audiences. She can be really funny, too. She just know how to be an interesting speaker.

She's not perfect, clearly. But neither does everybody.

She is someone I'm blessed to have. Someone I'm striving to be. Someone I'm truly proud of. My mother, my teacher, and my best friend.

Happy birthday, Ummi. May Allah protect and bless you abundantly. 

The Significant People

If I have to be thankful for just one thing in my life, I'd pick the people in a heartbeat. Yes, there are other things that make me feel utterly blessed, but nothing compares to the people in my life.

For starters, I have a wonderful family. A warm, loving, pious family. I couldn't leave the "pious" part because I think it's one of the reasons why our family becomes like we are. Religion is one of the things that glues us together, although sometimes it could also be one of the things that keep us apart (only for a few seconds, though). Religion is one of the reasons why my parents found and love each other (a preacher once told me that loving a person we marry is more important than marrying a person we love, and I couldn't agree more). It's the reason why they have been trying their best to raise their children well. And I really think they have been doing a great job.

So when I think about it, a loving family is not something that's given. Having a great family requires great work and compromise. It requires the parents to listen to their children's opinion, no matter how theoretical it sounds (especially when the oldest child is studying psychology). It requires the children to believe that the parents love them and have their best interests at heart, so the children will listen to everything they said, no matter how discrepant it is from their friends' parents' rules. 

I'm also blessed with my friends. I don't have an abundance of that, but I have my persons. I have people who could always lift me up when I'm not feeling so great about myself. People I could always trust and rely on. People I could always be myself with. People who have been helping me to grow - to be wiser and more mature. People I could spend hours and hours just to talk to. Some I met in the UK, but most of my significant friends are those I met in college. 

For now, it's enough. They are more than enough, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. They might not be enough for a few more years, but I have to keep believing that there's someone out there who can make my surrounding feels more complete. To make it feel even more perfect. 

And hopefully, all the people in my worldly life would also be my people in Jannah. That would be the ultimate contentment.

Update:
I watched a TED Talk about a study conducted for 75 years, which shows that a good quality of relationship is what makes people happiest and live longer. I guess I'm on the right track, then!

A Bothering Brother

Let me tell you something about someone whom I once considered as my biggest enemy, yet I know I couldn't live without. Someone whom I have known for exactly 20 years today.

Meet my smirky little brother.

Just like any other siblings in the world, we used to fight a lot. He used to punch and kick me, and I used to grab his hair and told him that he was adopted, as he is the only one in the family who has O blood type (worked like a charm, every single time). We fought every day and drove our parents crazy. We are only 18 months apart and it was only the two of us until 5 years later, so we became each other's biggest rival.

During the fight, especially in my preadolescence years when he became my biggest bully, I used to cry and wonder, why did Allah give me such an annoying little brother. Why do we hate each other so much? Why didn't He give me an older brother who can protect me instead? Yes, you know how dramatic a preteen girl could be - especially the one who read a lot of teen-lit and always compare herself with other people.

As we grew older, we develop a healthier relationship. We talked a lot about life, religion, politics, education, and the future. We talked about our parents and helped each other to adjust, as we realized that we have different norms at home and out there. He is still an annoying snob sometimes, but he can be sweet when I need him to. He's still childish most of the time, but he can act like my older brother when I need him to, perhaps because my parents always treat him like the oldest son in the family, instead of the second child. The moment when my dad was sick and needed a blood transfusion, I know right away that my infuriating little brother has turned into a dependable grown-up, and God only knows what I would do without him.

My brother was a classic middle child who was quite rebellious during his adolescence, but eventually he found his passion and figured out what he wants to be. At my graduation day, he told me that he didn't want to graduate in 3.5 years and with a cum laude just like his sister, as it sounds lame and geeky. But now? Now he is the geek in the family, as he spends hours to code every day, becomes the Assistant Lecturer, and works hard to maintain his GPA and graduate in less than 4 years whilst still being actively involved in several organizations. That's when I know that he is going to be someone in the future and I have nothing to worry about.

We're still not that sweet-siblings who tell I love you to each other, but since I'm away and I miss him (and my family) a lot, let me write this for once in my life. Thank you for being a significant part of my life. And thank you for saying this a few months ago,

"I have always thought that you'll end up with a man who is better than me, or at least as good as me."

It means a lot, even though I know how difficult it is to find a man who can meet that expectation.

So happy birthday and welcome to the early adulthood! May you always shine and be the man our parents taught to you be. And while I'm away, please take care of everyone and act like the oldest one in the family.

I'm not going to say this often, and I'm going to punch you if you laugh at me for saying this because I mean it, but I love you.

And I realize that having the privilege to have you and these two kiddos in my life is one of the greatest things that ever happened to me.

I'll see you soon!

About One Terrifying Week

I never really felt this scared. Dad's in hospital for Dengue Fever, and his thrombocytes concentration dropped to 8.000 (the normal count is over 150.000 - can you imagine how low was that?). He also has a high blood sugar level, so the doctor decided not to give him one of the most effective medicine to boost the thrombocytes (because it could also boost his blood level). Who would have thought that a single mosquito could ruin my family's whole week?

I underestimated "Dengue Fever" because a lot of people have had it and they're just fine. I have had it, and so has my brother. So I laugh at my super-sensitive sister who cried when she heard that my dad needed to spend a night at the hospital, because it is just Dengue Fever. But it turns out that the disease can get complicated for older people, even though my dad is not that old (at least not as old as most of my friends', anyway).

So I cried when my mom called me at 11 pm to tell that he needed thrombocytes transfusion. PMI (Indonesian Red Cross Society) ran out of type-A thrombocytes stock, so we needed to provide our own donors. My brother and I called a few relatives and friends to find suitable donors, then rushed to the hospital and PMI to take care of the blood donation. There were 10 donors that night and 4 the next night, but unfortunately, only 8 people are eligible. The blood donation and transfusion process was quite an emotional experience for someone who always fills her head with an abundance of "what-if" questions - for someone who always, always expects for the worst to happen. I was scared, but I was glad that I didn't have to do that alone.

Dad had 10 bags of platelets transfused, and today his platelet counts are getting better. He's still can't do anything but to stay in bed as he's still feel utterly dizzy and nauseous, but at least the critical period is over. At least he no longer needs transfusion. He still needs oxygen to breath and the low platelet counts did harm his liver, but at least he's feeling better now. At least I do not have to worry that much anymore.

As every other thing that has happened in my life, I know that there must be something to learn. And through this experience, I learned about my kin and friends. I realized that some of them are peculiarly kind and selfless, and even willing to help in the middle of the night, on short notice. There are also some of them who can't be there physically but checks on me and my family frequently - those who gives support occasionally. But there are some relatives who can't even empathize and are not willing to give any help. Who can only blame and talk without giving any comfort. This experience has clearly shown us who's to rely on, and who's to keep our distance with.

On the other hand, I also learned that I might also be a lousy friend sometimes. That I don't really show deep concern to those who might need it. Now that I know how it feels, I should be more caring and supportive. Because during your worst day, even a simple "how are you" would make you feel okay and not alone.

And lastly, even though sometimes I argue with my parents and say cruel things about them to myself, I realized that I'm not ready to live without them. I am aware that it's somehow inevitable, but I think it's not something that I could overcome right now. There's a saying about us being busy growing up that we forget our parents are also growing old, and I learned that it's true. But regardless, I learned the hard way - arduous, even - that I still need their presence in my life. So please Allah, please, keep my family in good health, and shower them with Your blessings and protection.

Everything will be okay. It will be.

At The End Of The Year

I just realized that I haven't really write in this blog for a long time. I'd been too busy with everything. I'd been busy with my undergraduate thesis, my tasks, my nonacademic activities, my family, and everything else. I had been busy juggling things, trying to do everything at once.

By the way, I have finally finished my undergraduate thesis, the one that I'd been doing everyday, even on the weekend and holiday, for the last 4 months. The one that got me frustrated sometimes - not because of itself, but because I had to re-prioritize and put something else aside to be able to finish it on time. Yet the one that I really love doing:

It's not over yet, actually. I still have a comprehensive examination at January 3rd, before I officially become an S.Psi. It is frightening for me, because I always have the fear that I have done something wrong, something stupid, and will do it again while answering the questions given. It happened before in comprehensive exam for KAUP and Pelatihan II, though in the end I know that it's just a stupid anxiety. But still, I will be doing this alone for the straight two hours, and no one will be able to help me answer the question. After all, it is my own research, my own effort (yet with a little help from a lot of people), my own undergraduate thesis.

So my resolution for 2013 is pretty simple: To get out of the comfort zone that I found extremely comfort and lovely. To graduate. To get a job. To be out there, in the real world. To be independent, financially, from my parents; at least until I decided to continue study at the profession program. To be way more mature, because after this, no one will give a damn if I'm 3 years younger than my peers. 

It is actually hard to leave this placed I called a second home. To leave the routine that I've been doing for the last 3 years. To leave all of the people inside that gave another color to my life, like these kind of people: 

It just feels so hard to leave the place where I always feel belong there. It is daunting to imagine, yet very exciting to know that I'm going to try something new.

So dear Allah, here I am, praying. Asking You to make everything fine, as usual. Thank You so much for this year - for the strength You gave me. I know I can't do this without your blessing. Thank You for always making me blessed - more that what I actually deserve to. Thank you for always, always answering my prayer. Please don't get tired of listening and granting.

About The Time Spent With Family

Udah lama banget rasanya kami nggak pergi jauh sekeluarga buat liburan. Terakhir pergi bareng pas Umroh - tapi saya nggak mau nyebut itu liburan karena niatnya memang untuk ibadah, bukan sekedar untuk ngeliat negara atau bangunan-bangunan terkenal yang belum pernah didatangi.

Gara-gara itu, liburan lebaran kemarin kami habiskan dengan pergi ke Palembang, kota kelahiran ibu saya. Supaya liburannya lebih kerasa, kami pergi ke Palembang pake mobil. Kali ini semuanya sepakat, karena adik saya juga udah bisa nyetir mobil, jadi kami nggak perlu khawatir ayah saya kecapean.

Palembang bukan tempat yang pas buat jalan-jalan, percaya deh, karena nggak ada tempat wisata di sana - selain Jembatan Ampera dan wilayah sekitarnya deh ya. Nggak ada pantai, nggak ada gunung, mall yang bagus juga cuma sedikit - itupun sering mati lampu. Yang bikin saya jatuh cinta sama Palembang cuma suasananya yang tetep homey meskipun jauh dari rumah (karena selama di sana kami selalu berkunjung ke rumah saudara atau rumah sahabat-sahabat ibu saya yang sudah dianggap seperti keluarga sendiri) dan tentu saja... Makanannya! Pempek rebus pinggir jalan yang harganya dua ribu-an tapi tetep lebih nikmat daripada pempek di Jakarta, Pempek tunu dan lenggang tunu yang mangkal di depan kuburan nenek saya - yang makannya pake keringet tapi nikmatnya luar biasa, es kacang merah yang meskipun udah mulai ada di Jakarta tapi belum ada yang pas di lidah, tekwan, model, martabak kari, pempek lagi, dan makanan-makanan lain yang akhirnya bikin saya cuma makan nasi dua kali selama ada di Palembang. Oh iya, sok-sokan berbicara dengan Bahasa Palembang selama ada di sana juga menyenangkan.

Tapi, menurut saya, yang paling berkesan dari perjalanan kemarin adalah kebersamaan dengan keluarga saya. Karena ayah saya sibuk kerja, ibu saya sibuk ceramah dan berorganisasi, saya sama Awwaab juga punya kesibukan nonakademis selain juga sibuk nugas, dan si Fari di pesantren, kami jarang banget bisa ngumpul berenam. Paling waktu berharganya cuma pas makan malem atau pas sahur aja, sambil cerita tentang kehidupan masing-masing di luar rumah.

Selama 13 jam dari Jakarta ke Palembang dan 16 jam dari Palembang ke Jakarta, saya ngerasa banget kalo momen-momen bersama keluarga adalah yang paling berharga dalam hidup saya. Sederhana sih ya, makan lauk yang udah dibawa dari rumah bareng-bareng; oper-operan dan suap-suapan, bercanda bareng, nyanyi bareng kalo lagi dapet sinyal radio yang selera musiknya lumayan bagus, ngaji bareng sambil muter kaset ngaji, dan cerita-cerita tentang hidup masing-masing.

Sederhana, tapi bikin saya bersyukur. Bersyukur sama Allah karena udah ngasih saya keluarga yang bisa bikin saya bahagia di dunia karena nggak pernah ada drama-dramanya, dan insya Allah bisa bikin saya bahagia di akhirat karena tetep bisa ketemu mereka semua nanti di surga - Aamiin.

Oh iya, buat kepentingan *ehem* skripsi, kemarin saya baca jurnal penelitiannya Loren Marks yang judulnya 'How Does Religion Influence Marriage? Christian, Jewish, Mormon, and Muslim Perspectives'. It really is an interesting research and probably the most interesting journal that I've ever read --  maybe because it is a qualitative research so I can read people's opinion--instead of some numbers that simplify everything. Saya bahkan sampai berkaca-kaca bacanya. Kenapa? Karena ada beberapa kutipan wawancara yang kayak gini:

[At prayer time, we say to] the kids, “Let’s quit the TV, and pray, and you go back to the TV later.”. . . [So at] the end of the day I have my kids around me and [I] thank God that they are healthy and safe....My intention [is], I’m caring about my wife and my kids because my God asked me to care about them...my God asked me to do that.

Atau yang satu ini:

Q: Are there any faith practices that hold special meaning for you as a couple?
A: One is Ramadan, because Ramadan is where families come together, eat together, fast together, wake up early in the morning to [break the fast together],...to support you for the day. . . . That’s what we do as a family . . . together.

Kenapa berkaca-kaca? Because it reminds me of my very own family.

Keluarga kecil saya nanti juga harus kayak gitu! Aamiin :)

A Love Letter For A Friend

 

Dear, Clarissa.

A few times ago, when I was so busy writing love letters for BEM members, you asked me to write one for you. I never really got the time and maybe I forgot about that when I did. And now that you're in the middle of nowhere at your birthday, I suppose that this is the least that I can get you for your birthday. Because collage and videos are just too mainstream, right?

Well, first of all, I want to congratulate you for officially being an adult - as Papalia, Olds, and Feldman said. God, you're old! Hihi.

I know it's probably everyone else's wishes for you, but I do hope that you will meet a guy who you love and who loves you back anytime soon. I do hope you will meet a right guy - an intelligent guy who is not afraid to be with a smart girl like you. A guy who can make you a better person. A guy who is not drinking nor smoking (yes, it's really important - you can't argue with me!). A guy who loves his God - the same God like yours, of course (ha!). A guy who won't give up easily on you. A guy who is destined to be with you. A decent guy who has a great personality yet can't pick the right jeans nor shoes to wear - so then you will really learn that clothes don't matter. A guy who knows every flaws you have, and still want to be with you anyway. A guy who is not perfect, but is perfect for you.

And then I hope you will also give me the same kind of prayer..... Haha.

You know I take you as you are, but I do hope that you can be a lot more positive and can easily swallow your pride when it's about important matters.

I also wish that you can be a lot tougher than you already are. You know you always have me when you need a friend to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or just a person that you can yell at and won't be angry or anything. We'll always have each other.

Thank you for being one of my very best friend. Thank you for always telling me the truth, even if sometimes I don't like it or can't face it. Thank you for standing by me. Thank you for being a good friend for me, and a good academic and nonacademic partner as well. Thank you for being an older sister of mine sometimes. Thank you for showing me another part of this world that I've never known before. Thank you for being the only person who ever said that I was the most mature 16 year old girl that you've ever known, whilst everyone else used to say that I'm super childish, or that I act like a last child or an only child. Thank you for always, always being on my side.

I do hope that we will still be best friends for a loooong time, and that we can finish our undergraduate thesis by the end of this year, graduate together and sit next to each other on the 'cum laude' chairs one or two months after, and be on the professional psychology program next year and also graduate together. And then maybe we will go on with our own lives, and meet again a few years later, practice on our own clinic. You will be in charge for the adults, and I'm gonna handle the children. And we also will make play dates for our children. Oh, and we're gonna be the greatest parent ever, by the way.

I know you will be a somebody someday. You have dreams, and I know someday you will catch them all. Maybe not in the way that you exactly want, but you will do amazing things. You will be amazing.

Oh! And I have another wish for you. That It will really happen soon:

Go have fun in Kalimantan! You will be a much better person if we meet again next month, but please don't change so much, hihi. You will do great there!

Happy birthday again, Clar.

I love you! :-D

Sederhana

Katanya, bahagia itu sederhana.

Seperti menulis sambil menyeruput kopi di pagi yang sejuk karena kemarin malam turun hujan.

Atau sekedar berbaring setelah lelah karena sibuk mengerjakan pekerjaan rumah.

Atau mandi dengan air hangat setelah seharian penuh beraktifitas.

Atau menonton tv series favorit.

Atau seperti menghabiskan hari-hari terakhir liburan dengan mengerjakan hal-hal yang disukai.

Hal-hal yang sebenarnya selalu ingin dikerjakan sejak lama, tapi tidak juga bisa dikerjakan karena waktu yang terbatas.

Seperti menghabiskan quality time dengan orang-orang yang disayang.

Ngobrol dan diskusi soal agama atau sekedar bercanda tentang masa depan dengan Umi dan Abi, pergi berdua Awwaab, menjemput Fari, dan bercanda dengan Mawla.

Duduk-duduk sore dengan sahabat-sahabat di kampus, saling bertukar cerita setelah beberapa kali bertemu namun hanya membahas urusan profesional.

Bertemu dengan tim baru - keluarga baru - yang sepertinya akan jadi lingkungan kerja yang sangat nyaman.

Bertemu kembali dengan salah satu tim kepanitiaan kesayangan.

Mendengarkan cerita dari orang lain atau bertemu dengan orang-orang baru selalu jadi hal yang menyenangkan buat saya.

Atau pergi sendiri, menikmati macetnya kota jakarta di dalam bus kota yang sepi penumpang. Menelusuri jalanan-jalanan yang selama ini tidak pernah diperhatikan. Mendaftarkan rute-rute baru ke dalam peta kognitif. Memperhatikan penumpang-penumpang yang lain, yang berasal dari kalangan yang beragam. 

Atau membaca buku setelah lama melupakan kenikmatan membaca karena telah asik dimanjakan oleh media audiovisual. Buku yang serius, mungkin jadi salah satu buku paling serius yang pernah dibaca selain buku-buku kuliah. Buku yang membuka mata dan pikiran.

Atau sekedar membuka situs-situs dan video-video di youtube, belajar cara mengucapkan huruf-huruf dan beberapa kata dalam bahasa Perancis, simply supaya saya bisa menyanyikan beberapa lagu favorit saya.

Mungkin, kalau tidak terlalu sering mengkhawatirkan masa depan, hidup akan terasa lebih menyenangkan.

"Maka nikmat Tuhanmu yang mana kah yang kamu dustakan?" Kata Allah berulang kali, di surat Ar-Rahman.

The Festival

Saya nggak bisa nulis panjang lebar karena sekarang saya capek luar biasa. Intinya, saya seneng banget rangkaian acara Psychology Festival yang pertama bisa berjalan dengan lancar, terutama tentu Introduction To Psychology, acara yang saya pegang. Banyak sekali feedback positif yang masuk karena acaranya bener-bener lancar dan nggak ada hambatan yang berarti.

Bukan berarti perjalanan saya di Psyfest mudah dan tanpa cobaan. Ada kok beberapa cobaan kayak beberapa pengisi acara yang tiba-tiba bilang nggak bisa dateng pada H-1 atau H-2 acara. Ada juga beberapa masalah lain yang nggak bisa saya tulis di sini. Tapi ketika pernah ngerasain badai, hujan yang deras sekalipun tidak akan lagi terasa berat. That's exactly what I feel. Ketika sebelumnya saya dapet hantaman yang begitu berat, sedikit masalah dan pengorbanan nggak lagi berarti apa-apa.

Pekerjaan saya di ITP selama dua hari ini juga jadi terasa mudah dan menyenangkan berkat orang-orang ini:

Terima kasih karena membuat segalanya jadi lebih mudah dan menyenangkan, dan simply karena kebanyakan dari kalian bilang kalau ini adalah kepanitiaan yang paling menyenangkan buat kalian. 

Dan akhirnya, saya benar-benar senang karena everything is totally worth it. Ditambah lagi dengan komentar salah satu peserta yang ternyata ikut ITP tahun lalu juga. "Pokoknya ITP tahun ini jauh lebih bagus daripada yang tahun lalu saya ikutin." Pada akhirnya, saya jadi tahu, begini rasanya kalau kerja keras kita dihargai secara positif oleh orang lain. Begini rasanya kalau bisa mempertahankan suasana kerja yang menyenangkan meskipun banyak orang yang panik dan menekan. Begini rasanya bisa puas terhadap performa diri sendiri, meskipun sadar kalau sebenarnya masih bisa lebih baik dari ini.

Dan pada akhirnya, saya senang karena satu kewajiban besar saya tahun ini tuntas sudah. Tinggal dua lagi. Tinggal sebentar lagi!

Betapa Beruntung

Betapa beruntungnya saya karena ketika ada satu orang yang jahat sama saya, ada banyak orang lain yang begitu baik dan perhatian sama saya.

Betapa beruntungnya saya karena ketika saya menangis tanpa henti selama hampir dua jam, lampu merah di sisi kanan atas handphone saya tidak bisa berhenti berkedip - menandakan ada banyak pesan masuk dari teman-teman terdekat saya, bertanya ada apa, dan kemudian menenangkan saya. Hingga akhirnya saya kembali menangis, tapi kali ini karena terharu, karena ternyata saya begitu bodoh, menangis karena perlakuan satu orang, saat ada banyak orang yang justru berlaku sebaliknya. 

Betapa beruntungnya saya karena ada banyak sekali teman yang memeluk saya, atau merelakan diri untuk saya peluk, karena saya memang membutuhkan pelukan hangat dari banyak orang. Menangis, memeluk orang lain, menulis, dan tidur adalah beberapa hal yang dapat membuat saya lebih tenang - jauh lebih tenang.

Betapa beruntungnya saya saat esoknya saya hanya bisa menekuk wajah karena mood saya masih berantakan, ada banyak sekali yang menghibur saya, melontarkan lelucon-lelucon ringan yang membuat saya tidak bisa berhenti tertawa. 

Betapa beruntungnya saya karena ada banyak sekali orang yang menyemangati saya - bahkan ada beberapa orang yang saya tidak kenal secara personal (dan sejujurnya tidak tahu siapa namanya) yang ikut menyemangati saya dengan kata-kata sederhana yang ternyata berpengaruh buat saya.

Berada di lingkungan seperti ini selalu membuat saya bersyukur. Ada orang-orang yang menyebalkan dan sama sekali tidak asertif dalam menyampaikan pendapat, memang; Tapi ada lebih banyak orang yang peduli dan bersimpati - orang-orang yang menguatkan dan menenangkan saya - orang-orang seperti kalian.

Terima kasih karena, entah disadari atau tidak, kalian semua membantu saya untuk tetap kuat. Setidaknya untuk tetap bertahan pada hari berikutnya, hari di mana saya masih dituntut oleh tetap profesional. Betapa beruntungnya saya karena punya kalian semua. 

(dan maaf karena saya begitu emosional dua hari kemarin)

Ngobrol, Curhat, Ketawa.

Kemarin Posma ulang tahun. Saya, bersama teman-teman sekelompok Metpen 3 saya, Ekki, Ryan, Anis, dan Ita, berencana membuat surprise untuk Posma. Kami bahkan kerja sama dengan ceweknya Posma. Tapi rencana gagal gara-gara Posma ngeliat Anis jalan menuju SC (tempat kami sembunyi) dan tiba-tiba masuk sambil bilang, "kok kalian pada bohongin gue???" - karena kami semua bilang kalau kami masih di jalan, padahal udah sampe kampus dari tadi. Rencana gagal, tapi nggak papa karena Posma tetep terlihat senang.

Sebenernya hari itu kami ke kampus untuk belajar bareng P3 (Pengantar Pengukuran Psikologi). Tapi ujung-ujungnya kami cuma nyampah di SC. Ngobrol, curhat, ketawa. Tapi kami nggak nganggep itu sia-sia, karena sama aja itungannya sebagai team building ketiga, atau team building pertama yang formasinya lengkap (team building pertama di mobil menuju Java Jazz - nggak ada Posma karena dia semobil sama ceweknya, team building kedua karaokean - nggak ada Anis karena harus latihan Paragita). Kalau benar kami bakal sekelompok terus sampai KAUP (Kecuali Ita, mungkin, kalau dia balik ke kelompok awalnya), kami butuh team building yang banyaaaaak sebelum KAUP.

Karena hari itu Ryan banyak curhat soal cewek yang lagi dia incer dan Posma-Anis jadi penasehatnya, saya dan Ekki membuat nama untuk sesi kemarin: Belajar P3, Pengantar Pendekatan Pacaran.

Setelah itu, kami foto-foto sebentar di Taman Akademos:

(dari kiri, searah jarum jam: Ita, Saya, Anis, Posma, Ekki, Ryan)

Meskipun bisa dibilang nggak ngapa-ngapain, kemarin adalah hari yang sangat menyenangkan buat saya. Entah kenapa. Mungkin karena saya cerita ke Ekki tentang masalah yang sedang saya hadapi belakangan, beserta tambahan informasi yang belum pernah saya ceritain ke siapa-siapa. Mungkin karena Ekki cerita ke saya soal ceritanya yang juga belum pernah ia ceritakan ke orang lain selain orang yang bersangkutan (atau udah, Ki? haha). Mungkin karena Ryan yang cerita banyak soal perempuan yang lagi ia suka, dengan raut muka yang begitu bersemangat dan gaya bercerita yang beda dengan saat ia nyeritain hal-hal lain. Mungkin karena makan cheese cake buat Posma yang enaknya bukan main. Atau mungkin karena SMS dari Senja, yang meskipun cuma berisi "Yas, gue seneng", bisa bikin saya ikutan seneng. Atau simply karena ada begitu banyak yang harus saya kerjakan dan pikirkan dalam beberapa minggu terakhir, dan duduk beberapa jam bersama teman-teman terdekat saya, saling bertukar cerita dan tawa, bisa membuat saya santai dan melupakan semua pekerjaan yang harus saya selesaikan. Meskipun cuma sejenak. Mungkin saya butuh tidak melakukan apa-apa seharian, memberikan kesempatan ke diri saya sendiri untuk istirahat sebentar.

Ah, yang jelas kemarin saya senang karena kalian! :)


Setelah itu, ketika pulang, saya ngobrol sekilas dengan Ita.
"Ta, dengerin Ryan sama Ekki curhat soal cewek, gue jadi kangen ceritain soal cowok ke temen gue, deh."

Haha, sejujurnya emang gitu. Saya juga bilang ke Ekki kalau gara-gara dan Ryan saya jadi galau, padahal nggak pernah galau-galauan sebelumnya, haha. Meskipun saya dan Ita, yang sama-sama nggak mau pacaran, sering bercanda, kalau kita kangen punya gebetan. Ah, risiko kuliah di psikologi emang gitu, hahaha.

Saya bukan galau pengen punya pacar. Itu sampai saat ini belum pernah terlintas di pikiran saya. Saya cuma kangen punya orang yang ditungguin SMS atau telfonnya. Yang bisa saya ceritain ke temen-temen saya setiap hari. Yang bisa bikin saya senyum-senyum sendiri. #Eh. Udah ah. Nggak segitunya juga kok, haha.

A Project For Dad

Kemarin ayah saya ulang tahun yang ke-45. Ngasih kado bukan lagi jadi tradisi di keluarga saya, tapi adik saya ngasih ide buat bikin semacam foto buat ayah saya. Saya sih seneng-seneng aja, toh pasti nggak sesusah itu. Eh ternyata salah. Butuh lebih dari tiga jam untuk moto saya dan ketiga adik saya, dan butuh lebih dari lima jam untuk ngedit fotonya - karena ada banyak yang harus diedit; setidaknya diganti warna background-nya jadi #f0f0f0 dan di-highpass supaya detilnya bagus. Tapi saya seneng ngerjainnya, apalagi karena ngerjainnya barengan adik saya yang jago banget photoshop, jadi saya bisa belajar beberapa trik baru.

Dan ini hasilnya:

di-klik, ya, supaya resolusinya besar :)

Biasa banget sih emang, nggak sebagus itu juga, tapi saya cukup puas - terlebih ini pertama kalinya saya (meskipun dibantuin juga sama adik saya) ngedit foto sampe berjam-jam.


Selamat ulang tahun lagi, ya, Bi! Thank you for being such a wonderful father for us. We're not that romantic to say I love you to each other, but I know how you love me and I know you know that I always do, too. Semoga abi tetep sehat dan dilindungi Allah serta selalu dilimpahin rezeki yang banyaaaak. Dan seperti yang selalu ayas sama Umi bilang, semoga abi jadi ngeh sama kesehatan. Jangan banyak makan/minum yang manis-manis dan berlemak lagi, ya? Your daughter already is, kan. Hahaha. Love you.

To Be A Great Mother

Beberapa bulan terakhir saya ngajar beberapa bocah di kompleks saya. Ngajar ngaji. Yang ikut sekitar tujuh orang-an. Usianya beragam banget; ada yang baru tiga tahun, ada yang TK B, ada yang udah kelas enam.


Pertemuan pertama, saya kaget. Jujur, ekspektasi saya adalah si anak kelas enam ini udah bisa ngaji, meskipun nggak lancar dan makhraj-nya kacau. Saya mikir gitu karena salah satu adik saya juga kelas enam SD, dan ngajinya udah bagus banget. Ternyata, kemampuan anak-anak ini bisa dibilang merata (kecuali si anak tiga tahun yang bener-bener belajar dari nol). Saya kaget, anak yang kelas enam itu bahkan belum tahu panjang-pendek, tasydid, dan sebagainya. Saat itu yang saya pikirin cuma satu: orang tuanya kemana?


Hari ini, si anak kelas enam itu bilang kalo sebentar lagi dia bakal ujian praktek. Dia keliatan panik. "Aku nggak bisa iqomah, Uni." Gitu katanya. Padahal dia sering banget saya suruh qomat pas lagi shalat isya berjamaah. Oh oke, dia ternyata nggak tahu kalo iqomah itu sama dengan qomat. "Aku disuruh ngafal surat pendek juga. Aku mau Al-Lahab aja deh yang artinya gampang." Tapi ternyata ketika saya tes bacaan Al-Lahabnya kacau. Dia bahkan nggak tau ada yang harusnya dibaca enam harakat. Dia nggak tahu kalau huruf 'Ba' mati itu dibacanya mantul karena itu qalqalah. Oh oke, seenggaknya dia hapal sedikit-sedikit. "Aku nggak hapal doa solat yang terakhir itu, Uni. Yang ada ibrahim-ibrahimnya itu". Nah, sampai disini saya lemes. Sebentar lagi dia baligh, tapi belum bisa bacaan shalat? Lalu saya tanya murid-murid saya yang lain, "ayo, siapa yang bisa baca tahiyat akhir?". Semuanya diem sambil nyengir. Saya makin lemes. Apa yang dulu saya pertanyakan pun kembali muncul: Orang tuanya kemana?


Baru kemudian saya tahu dari teman saya kalau banyak orang yang shalat tanpa hapal bacaannya. Atau tanpa peduli bacaannya bener apa enggak. "Kan yang penting niatnya. Niat ibadah."


Saya sih nggak setuju. Itu berlaku kalau lo tinggal di daerah terpencil dan nggak bisa nanya ke siapa-siapa. Tapi kalo jaman udah maju, sumber informasi banyak, dan kapasitas otak lo nggak minim-minim banget, apa salahnya untuk bertanya dan belajar.


Tapi kemudian, ditambah dengan pernyataan teman saya, "Kadang gue iri. Sama lu, orangtuanya bagus dalam ngedidik agama", saya jadi meragukan pernyataan saya sendiri. Apa iya kalo orang tua saya cuek soal agama saya bakal bisa ngaji dengan baik dan benar? Apa iya kalo orang tua saya nggak strict soal agama saya bisa shalat dengan baik dan benar?


Apa iya kalo nanti saya jadi ibu, saya bisa ngedidik anak saya supaya bisa ngerti agama dan setidaknya bisa shalat dan ngaji dengan baik dan benar?


Sejujurnya, saya jadi takut.
Gimana kalau nanti saya punya karir sehingga nggak punya banyak waktu di rumah?
Gimana kalau anak saya nanti jadi anak baby sitter?
Gimana kalau nanti saya nggak punya banyak waktu untuk ngajarin anak saya shalat?
Gimana kalau nanti saya nggak punya banyak waktu untuk ngajarin dia ngaji?
Gimana kalau nanti saya nggak punya banyak waktu untuk nemenin anak saya menghafal surat pendek?
Gimana kalau nanti anak saya ngajinya terbata-bata dan makhraj-nya jelek? Dan tajwid-nya salah?
Gimana kalau nanti anak saya nggak hafal bacaan shalat?


Saya takut. Saya takut nggak bisa jadi ibu yang baik. Saya takut nggak bisa jadi contoh yang baik. Saya tahu gimana susahnya jadi ibu. Saya bisa lihat sendiri gimana perjuangan ibu saya dalam mendidik saya dan ketiga adik saya. Gimana susahnya ngejagain kami berempat supaya nggak jadi orang kebanyakan - yang agamanya hanya bisa dilihat dari tulisan di KTP. Gimana susahnya memegang prinsip, meskipun konsekuensinya harus berantem terus sama anak-anaknya. Gimana capeknya nyuruh keempat anaknya buat ngaji setiap hari. Gimana bosennya, gimana sakit hatinya, gimana keselnya, gimana sedihnya. Saya nggak pernah bilang kalau saya tau, tapi sebenernya saya tau. Jadi ibu itu nggak gampang. Jadi ibu yang baik itu nggak gampang. Jadi ibu yang bisa mempertanggungjawabkan amanah yang Allah kasih itu nggak gampang.


Sekesel-keselnya saya kalau dilarang pergi malem, sebosen-bosennya saya kalau diingetin ngaji terus-terusan, sebete-betenya saya kalau disuruh ganti baju kalau bajunya terlalu pendek atau disuruh ganti jilbab kalau jilbab saya terlalu tipis, sesering-seringnya saya ngelanggar aturan yang dibuat, saya sesungguhnya bersyukur dikasih ibu yang kayak gitu. Saya sesungguhnya sangat bersyukur dikasih ibu yang pengetahuan agamanya bagus, sehingga saya bisa bertanya apapun tentang agama. Saya sesungguhnya bersyukur, karena saya setidaknya jadi punya bekal agama yang cukup baik. Nggak sebaik itu, saya tau. Tapi setidaknya lebih baik dari orang kebanyakan.

Saya sesungguhnya bersyukur, punya orang tua yang bisa menjaga saya dari hal-hal yang nggak baik.

Hey Mr. Sondre

Remember when I wrote that I really, really want to see Sondre on stage and capture him with my own camera?

Well, it finally happened last night.


Saya dan teman-teman kuliah saya pergi ke Java Jazz Festival 2011. Nggak tau deh Jakarta lagi kenapa, tapi kemarin macet dimana-mana. Kami berangkat jam tiga sore dari Depok, dan... coba tebak sampe Kemayoran jam berapa? Hampir jam delapan malam! Tapi perjalanan nggak kerasa membosankan karena saya punya teman-teman menyenangkan ini:

(Ekki, Ryan, Pravitasari, Anis, dan saya.)

We took some pictures, shared some jokes, mocked each other, sang some songs, and confessed some (silly and stupid) things we've done. We took the five hours we spent as our very first team building. Metpenstat team building of course, because those four are also my metpenstat mates. Too bad Posma wasn't in the same car, because he went there with his girlfriend (but we met up later).

After having fun in the car for almost five hours, we finally arrived. Kami rencananya mau nonton Dira Sugandi, Indro Hardjodikoro, Glenn Fredly, dan Marcell, tapi sayangnya kami datengnya terlalu malem. Gara-gara Jakarta yang macetnya minta ampun.

Belum selesai cobaannya. Ada kejadian yang cukup bikin kami semua kesel. Tiket saya dan Ekki dibilang duplikat. Maksudnya, udah ada yang masuk dengan nomer tiket yang sama, 20 menit sebelum kami datang. Nggak tau deh yang salah yang jual tiket atau emang ada orang jahat yang nge-hack sistem tiketnya. Saya sama Ekki panik. Iyalah, udah berjam-jam di mobil terus nggak bisa masuk, gitu? Mana kalo beli di ticket box harganya jadi lima ratus ribu-an. Tapi kemudian Ratih bilang kalo dia mau bantu patungan. Yang lain juga bilang begitu, bikin saya jadi terharu. Akhirnya saya dan Ekki beli tiket di calo (dan surprisingly bisa ditawar jadi seratus lima puluh ribu!), dengan duit patungan.

Begitu (akhirnya) masuk, Marcell lagi nyanyiin lagu terakhirnya. Sedih sih kok udah abis aja, tapi nggak apa-apa karena performa terakhirnya bagus banget (bagus disini adalah karena semua orang bisa nyanyi). Terus kami ke C2 Hall deh, buat liat dia. Buat liat Sondre Lerche. Saya nunggu satu jam lebih sama Anis, Ratih, Posma dan ceweknya, dan Kak Saski - supaya bisa dapet tempat duduk di depan.

Meskipun perjuangan saya ke Java Jazz kemarin melelahkan, semuanya terasa worth it begitu lihat Sondre ke panggung. Begitu denger Sondre metik gitarnya dan nyanyi.

"Down came the sky......."

And he was aaaawesome!!! Suaranya menurut saya lebih jernih daripada di rekaman. Dia juga komunikatif sekali. Dia humoris dan tau banget gimana cara bikin fansnya meleleh.
"It's gonna be just me and you", gitu katanya, karena dia bener-bener cuma main sendirian dengan dua gitar yang dipake bergantian.





I totally enjoyed the performance. He was only wearing white v-neck shirt and black jeans. I think he's the only person who wears v-neck and doesn't look gay at all. Instead, he looked simple and charming at the same time. He sang a lot of songs, and the best part is, I know all of them. It felt so good to sing some songs that your friends don't know. Though it also felt good to sing 'Two Way Monologue' with almost every person there (cause who don't know Two Way Monologue?). Anis and Ratih also enjoyed his performance, though they were a bit disappointed because he didn't sing 'The More I See You' and 'Heartbeat Radio'. But I didn't at all, though I was expecting he would sing some songs from 'Duper Sessions' because I thought he would sing his jazziest tracks (although he said 'I'm not even a jazz!'), because it's Java Jazz. But he didn't. But I'm not so upset because he sang 'Hell No' solo, for the first time. He said it's because we (the audience) knew all of his song. "I never play this song alone, so I need your help", he said. So we sang Regina's part. It's like Sondre sings a duet with all of his fans.

At the end of the song, he said, "Do not tell anyone, but I think you guys sing better than Regina Spektor. Please don't tell her cause she's gonna kill me."
Well, he had successfully made me melt. It was so good to see you, Mr. Sondre! Please come back soon to Indonesia. Please please pleaaaase, pretty please!

After his performance, I saw Corinne Bailey Rae's performance. She did well, but she cannot beat Sondre. The stage is a lot bigger than Sondre, cause she's more famous and got a lot more fans.

I stood too far from stage, so this is all I got:

She has a beautiful voice. Plus, her bass player - Kenny Higgins - is a person with disabilities, which made us amazed. But we are sooooo upset because she didn't sing 'Paris Night/New York Mornings'.


My friday night was so awesome. Sondre Lerche and my psycho mates made my day.

Thankyou, thankyou! :)

Because We're Friends, Right?

A good friend tells his/her friend everything, even if the news is no good. That's one of several things I learned from watching Desperate Housewives. So don't get me wrong if I don't like secretive friends, who always hide something and not brave enough to tell. I mean, I'm your friend. That means I'm gonna support you after all. That means I'm just gonna be upset for a while, then will pretend to forget about those things. That means I'll never get mad just because you're trying to be honest.

When you keep it as a secret, you just make it thousand times worse. Though I know, at the end, I just gonna pretend that I'm okay with this and never mention this anymore. Because I'm your friend.

You know, you could've just told me.

The Sweetest Goodbye

Istrinya sepupu saya baru aja meninggal. Saya nggak bisa ngeliat kondisinya karena dia tinggal di Bandung, dan saya harus UAS hari Senin nanti.

Nggak ada yang nyangka Mbak Alda akan pergi secepat itu. Sampai kemarin, saat ia jatuh dari tangga dan mengalami pendarahan hebat. Sampai kemarin, saat dokter bilang kondisinya kritis dan ia mengalami stroke. Kayak kasusnya Sukma Ayu, kata dokter. Sampai tadi, saat dokter bilang udah nggak ada harapan lagi. Tinggal dilepas aja, kata dokter. Dokter memang bukan Tuhan dan nggak bisa sesotoy itu memprediksi kematian seseorang, tapi rupanya semua udah ikhlas melepas Mbak Alda. Jika kematian adalah yang terbaik, maka sesegerakanlah, kata ibu saya. Sampai tadi, keluarga bener-bener ikhlas membiarkan alat-alat yang membantu Mbak Alda agar tetap hidup dilepas. Passive euthanasia, kata bahasa kedokteran.

Saya langsung jadi inget Just Like Heaven, salah satu film yang udah saya tonton berkali-kali.

Saya nggak pernah ngalamin ini. Saya nggak pernah ditinggal 'pergi' sama siapapun yang kematiannya nggak ketebak. Dua nenek dan satu kakek saya udah meninggal, tapi nggak ada yang terlalu kaget karena usia mereka emang udah nggak muda lagi: badan mereka emang udah nggak fit lagi. Tapi ini.....

Saya jadi ngeri sendiri. Hidup-mati seseorang emang cuma Allah yang tau. Saya cuma bisa berdoa supaya Abin dan Nadine, dua keponakan saya yang lucu dan pinter itu, bisa tetep tumbuh dengan baik meskipun harus kehilangan ibunya sejak balita.

Sesebel-sebelnya saya sama orang tua saya kalo lagi berantemin sesuatu, saya tetep nggak bisa bayangin hidup saya kalau nggak ada salah satu dari mereka. Punya orang tua yang tau gimana cara mendidik anak yang baik dan benar serta selalu akur dan romantis adalah salah satu anugerah yang dikasih Allah buat saya. Ya, sepertinya sekarang saya hanya bisa bersyukur.

Dan berdoa.

Supaya Mbak Alda bisa istirahat dengan tenang, dan semua kebaikannya diterima oleh Allah.

Semoga Bang Oy tabah dan nerima kepergian Mbak Alda dengan ikhlas, setelah tadi mendaratkan kecupan terakhir di dahi Mbak Alda.

Semoga Abin dan Nadine pelan-pelan bisa ngerti bundanya pergi kemana, selalu doain bundanya, dan tetep bisa bertumbuh dan berkembang dengan baIk.

Selamat jalan, Mbak Alda!

Baik-baik ya di sana..... :')

The Sweetest Seventeen

Ternyata ulang tahun saat minggu UTS nggak seburuk itu. Saya ulang tahun tepat sehari sebelum UTS Psikologi Belajar, yang entah kenapa materinya nggak juga bisa saya ngertiin meskipun udah dibaca berulang kali - yang entah kenapa jadi mata kuliah tersusah semester ini meskipun bobotnya cuma dua SKS.

Di hari ulang tahun saya, saya disurprisin sama sahabat-sahabat saya di kampus. Well, harusnya namanya bukan surprise lagi sih, karena setiap ada yang ulang tahun emang pasti dikasih surprise. Tapi entah kenapa, suprisenya tetep berkesan.

Saya lagi makan di Kancil bareng Anis, Ekki, dan Ryan. Tiba-tiba mata saya diiket sama Anis, terus saya digiring sampe Akademos dengan mata tertutup. Sederhana, tapi cukup buat saya malu karena banyak maba di selasar dan (menurut teman-teman saya) mereka semua ngeliatin saya digiring sambil ketawa-ketawa. Mana temen-temen yang narik saya bawel banget lagi, kadang teriak 'awas got' atau 'awas buaya' atau 'awas lintang' (well, cuma saya sama geng metpen yang tau maksudnya apa). Terus, di Akademos saya diputer tujuh belas kali dan begitu iketan matanya dibuka, hadirlah temen-temen deket saya. Ada geng metpen, siblings, jable, dan geng muslimah. Ada Posma, Ryan, Ekki, Anis, Umaira, Merina, Pravita, Aqisth, dan Mirza. Sempet ada Afi, Cide, Ika, Arina, sama Abay juga. Sayangnya Ratih sama Niken datengnya telat, terus Icca nggak bisa dateng karena harus nemenin mamanya.

Surprisenya sederhana, tapi berkesan. Ternyata banyak loh yang sayang sama saya :')

Besoknya, giliran anak BEM yang ngasih surprise buat saya. Nggak semua anak BEM sih, tepatnya media, PSDM, Kak Adit si ketua BEM, Kak Aci si koordinator biro, dan beberapa anak BEM lain.

Yang ini surprisenya lebih ngena karena pake skenario yang ujung-ujungnya bikin saya nangis lama banget, bahkan di rumah tiba-tiba saya nangis lagi. Saya nggak bisa ceritain kenapa, yang jelas dalam pelaksanaan skenario itu saya terlalu jujur dan akhirnya ngeluarin satu kalimat yang nggak seharusnya saya keluarin di depan bos-bos saya itu. Jadi ya pokoknya saya masih kepikiran insiden kemarin sampe sekarang, soalnya saya nggak ngerasa itu sebagai skenario buat nyurprisin saya. Saya ngerasa apa yang Kak Dina, Kak Adit, dan Kak Aci omongin ke saya itu semuanya bener, meskipun mungkin ada beberapa bagian yang dilebih-lebihin. Yang pasti kalo diinget-inget lagi sampe sekarang, saya pasti bakalan nangis lagi. Bakalan kecewa sama diri saya sendiri lagi.

Tapi intinya, yang mereka lakuin kemarin itu dampaknya sangaaaat bagus buat perbaikan diri saya. Dan lagi, ketika ditengah-tengah tangisan saya anak media dan psdm masuk sambil bawa kue dan nyanyiin selamat ulang tahun buat saya, saya juga tau kalo lagi-lagi saya ada di lingkungan yang nyaman - bahkan mungkin terlalu nyaman. Saya dikelilingin sama kakak-kakak yang sayang banget sama saya.

keliatan banget ya kalo saya abis nangis? :')

Intinya, meskipun tujuh belas tahun saya mungkin nggak semenyenangkan tujuh belas tahun teman-teman saya yang dirayain pas SMA, tujuh belas tahun saya tetap berkesan dan akan terus saya inget.

Saya nggak punya banyak doa untuk ulang tahun saya yang sekarang. Doanya sama aja sama doa kemarin-kemarin. Saya cuma berharap saya bisa tambah dewasa (karena meskipun saya tujuh belas tahun, pola pikir dan tingkah laku saya harus sembilan belas atau dua puluh tahun), bisa lebih pinter bagi waktu (kapan buat akademis, kapan buat nonakademis, kapan buat saya sendiri), dan berharap perjalanan saya untuk jadi psikolog anak mulus-mulus aja. Amin!

Makasih ya, untuk kalian yang sayang sama saya. Makasih untuk surprisenya. Makasih untuk doa dan ucapannya. Makasih untuk usahanya bikinin saya tujuh belas tahun yang sangat berkesan, meskipun mungkin nggak seberkesan tujuh belas tahun kalian - karena emang itu nggak akan bisa terjadi.

Saya sayang banget sama kalian! :__)