Sunday, April 27, 2014

Lost and Found

From "The Defining Decade" by Meg Jay, PhD

Two girls are sitting at a coffee shop on Saturday night, talking about life. 

"Why don't you tell me more about our friends in college? It feels good to hear that I'm not the only person who is lost." 
"I think being lost in our age is a common thing that happens. I think everyone in our age is pretty much lost..."
"I think it would be easier to count those who are not lost."
"How about A? She's very happy with her job. She works hard, but play pretty hard most nights. She has never drunk before, but now she drinks often. She loves having a new lifestyle."
"Wouldn't that make her lost too? One day, she might wake up and realize that she has chosen the wrong part, won't she?"
"Or not. I think it's possible that she will enjoy and have this kind of lifestyle for the rest of her life. She's happy anyway."
"From my perspective, I frankly think that she is really lost. Even more lost than you. But maybe she doesn't feel that way. Maybe she feels like she's on the right track.... Let's find another example. Perhaps a friend that seems happy and is on the right track?"
"What about B? He didn't like his job at first, but he tried his best to find a good thing about it, and he did. He finally found the silver lining and finally looks very excited about his job, even though last year we never thought that he would survive."
 "Yes, he's a good example. He finally does something he loves and, at the same time, earns a lot of money."
"How about C? Do you think he's also lost?"
"I don't think so. It's apparent that he loves his job because it pays really well and looks prestigious. And, from what we heard, he performs really well."
"But the job is....."
"It's from our perspective. He really thinks that he is really doing fine."

After traveling to dozens of countries, Eric Wiener (the author whose book I discussed before) concluded that there is more than one path to happiness. All miserable countries (or people) are alike, yet the happy ones are happy in their own ways.

Whether you feel happy or not solely depends on how you see it. Is it congruent with your value? Is it something that you really want? Does it pay the bills? Do you feel acknowledged?

From "The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People" By David Niven, PhD

At the end, one of the girl said,
"Thank God I feel lost when I'm 22. I hope everything will turn out fine when I'm 26. Being lost in your 26 seems terrifying."

Everything will turns out more than fine. There will be a bright future for those girls. They at least deserve that. With Allah's will and permission, everything is going to be good.

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